Cosmos

Welcome back to the show, my fellow extraordinary Americans. For today’s guest, we have Kellen Fluckiger. Kellen is an entrepreneur, 10-time best-selling author, speaker, coach, performer, investor, philanthropist, and the host of the ultimate or your ultimate life podcast. He has been featured on NBC, ABC, Miami Herald, CBS, Fox News, HuffPost, and LA Talk Radio. 

Coming through decades of depression and addictions, life-threatening illness, and a near-death experience, Ken has become the ultimate catalyst to help motivate people, melt barriers, move mountains, and mobilize superpowers to achieve their true desires. As a coach and keynote speaker, Kellen’s masterful approach helps people get past old stories, change beliefs, and create a life context to reach even goals that seem impossible. As an executive, Kellen had a notable career as a pioneer in a contentious area of energy deregulation. He testified before Congress and was a key player in resolving the Enron scandal and market manipulation investigation in the Western U.S. and Canada.

In the continuing search for development, Kellen trained as a coach for high achievers, performed in an award-winning choir that charted number one on Billboard not once but four times. He’s dedicated. He’s dedicated to helping others tap into their gifts and talents and allow them to serve and grow in their own lives effectively. 

His coaching is renowned for its powerful results and growth. He continues to speak, write, and perform regularly and has written 21 books, many of which are number one international bestsellers, with more to come. Kellen has also launched a popular YouTube and podcast channel, Your Ultimate Life, producing nearly 1,000 episodes. 

He’s an extraordinary American, and I’m honored to have him on the show. Kellen, are you there?

Kellen

I am here. Scary. I kept wondering when you were going to be done. It isn’t very comfortable. I mean it’s all true, but it sounds fun when you read it all at once.

Cosmos

It’s a very long and amazing bio.

But Kel, I wanted to ask you, I’ll connect you to it.  Well, can you tell me more about the audience, your story, background, and how you got started?

Kellen

You know, one of the things that I have discovered that’s the most,  when you or I or any of the listeners, when you, when you look at somebody that’s successful or people look at you because you’re successful, they might think, oh, I’d to have that, oh, I’d to be that or whatever.

And then comma, but it wouldn’t happen for me, or I can’t do that, or they must have had something special. And the question you’ve just asked me makes me think about this. The best gift we can give is the answer to the question, How did you get here? How did you get here? Because when you’re successful already, it’s hard to see, right? People can’t imagine themselves doing it. So that sort of journey that people take, call it a hero’s journey or whatever it is, is so important to share. 

I’m happy to share. You know, you just read a big, long list of stuff that I’ve done, and you sandwiched in there decades of depression and addictions and so forth. And that’s important. You know, me. How I got there doesn’t matter. My upbringing was tumultuous and troublesome and so forth. But I did struggle with MDD, Major Depressive Disorder, for decades from the time I left home at 17 until I was 52. There’s a 35-year gap there. And it’s not a gap; it’s 35 years where I achieved great success. You made all that executive stuff you discussed sound like a big deal. 

And in my industry, I was. And behind the scenes, my life was a wreck. I was one of those people that you could make a movie about, right on the outside, it looks, whoa. And behind the scenes, it’s, ah, you know, that, seriously, I struggled with addictions. I had stints in rehab. I had three failed relationships and a couple of suicide attempts. And so those 35 years were a roller coaster of depression and self-sabotage. 

I would create big success, including money and everything. And then I would do stuff to burn it down because I had this internal conviction that I didn’t deserve it, wasn’t good enough, and didn’t belong there. And so, I did that over and over again. 

Not just once, but several times. I listen to your podcast: your thoughts about extraordinary America. And when we’ve talked before, you’ve talked about the promise of that dream and that possibility. And you know, I’m an example of having destroyed myself. And you know, I had help and failure in relationships, three failed marriages. It takes two to tango. But, you know, I certainly had over 50% of the thing. I was, I was a disaster. 

The only way I can describe it is a divine intervention that woke me up. It didn’t fix anything in my life, but it smacked me up the head with a 2×4.  All of us have intuition and inspiration. That happens. But this was divine intervention. And from that time, I walked away from that illustrious quote, a career I’d had for 30 years, and left and started over. And that’s when I began the journey that led to all this writing of books and becoming a coach and all of the rest of it. And with that came a sense of peace, meaning finding and using my gifts, all that good stuff we discussed. I wasn’t doing any of that. 

I didn’t even start doing that until I was 52, even though I’d created all this career success and a pile of, you know, battlefield behind me that was a disaster. So that journey started in August of 2007 with a divine intervention. So that’s the beginning. And I don’t know how much you want me to tell you in detail. I’m happy to share it all. There are no secrets.

Cosmos

I mean, we would want to know. There’s the case of the near-death experience.

Kellen

That was in 2018.

All right, so I’ll tell you the story. It’s August of 2007, so come with me here. After several sabotages, here I am. I am back at the top of career stuff. I’m a single dad again for the third time. I have four of my 10 children as teenagers living with me. Three are grown up and married, and three are still with us. It’s embarrassing, but one of the exes and I were making a lot of money, and I had a $3,000 a week cocaine habit, and I had attempted suicide for the second time two weeks before what I’m going to describe happened. So that’s the guy. I came home from work on a Friday night and was going to party for the weekend, so we were at the party house. I had four teenagers there and all their friends came over because I was a crappy dad and, whatever. 

So, before I went out, I had this urge to turn on the television, which doesn’t sound like anything, except I didn’t watch TV. So, I picked up the remote and bought a great big cool thing for the kids. But I picked up the remote, looked at it, and realized I couldn’t turn the TV on. 

I asked one of my kids, my 16-year-old daughter, you know, she punched some buttons and threw the remote at me, dipped weed, and left the room. And it landed on a program that I’d never heard of. It was a reality TV show called Intervention. Now that’s a show about families who stage professional interventions with counselors, priests, or whatever for busted loved ones. And I’d never heard of it, but I’m, what? And I watched the show for a few minutes, and the protagonist was a high-ranking executive with a cocaine problem.

I Watched my life on TV for about 10 minutes, and I said, yeah, I’m not watching this crap. So I turned it off, did some other stuff, and got ready. And I couldn’t resist this urge to turn on the TV again. So, this time I knew how to turn it on. And that program started over. And no, I didn’t have a DVR, and no, it wasn’t on the schedule, and no, it can’t do that, but it did. 

I watched the program, and it went badly. The guy yelled at his family, swore he didn’t have a problem, and stomped out of the intervention. But it freaked me out. And so instead of going out to a party, I went to bed. When I went to bed, I went to hell. And what I mean by that is I went somewhere. It felt like it was out of body. And I was in a theater, and I could see scenes on the stage. And on the stage were scenes from my life. And every scene was focused on suffering. The suffering that had been inflicted on me as a kid. A bunch of physical abuse and stuff. Up through the suffering I had inflicted on everybody else as a drug addict and a liar and a lousy dad and partner and everything else. And the intensity of watching all that was so great, it was agonizing. I couldn’t. I could. I can’t even describe it.

But anyway, it went on for a long, long, long time. And after a while, a long while, a voice over my right shoulder, behind me, I heard a voice say very clearly, It is enough. I woke up and I was completely disoriented for three reasons. One, I was all twisted around upside down and backwards in my bed. Number two, the bed sheets were so wet you could wring them out. 

I didn’t know that a body could lose that much water. The only thing I could make up was a reason; I had sweated that hard while watching that experience. That’s how painful it was. But the real thing was that the sun was shining in the Windows. And the windows of the house face west. And I got up and realized it was five o’clock Saturday afternoon. So, I’d been somewhere for nearly 18 hours.

Cosmos

Wow.

Kellen

And I got up and realized I’ve been invited to change. I have no idea what to do, how to get help, where to start, where to go, or any of that. But I know one thing, I’m done. 

I got up and I threw away maybe a thousand dollars’ worth of drugs I had lying around, because I always did. And I quit cold turkey that day. That got me sober, but it didn’t do anything about how I got there, the mental illness, and the self-sabotage and everything, because I’d never really gotten any help. But that was the first part. 

 The second part happened the next week. I returned to work on Monday, knowing I had to escape everything. But, you know, I didn’t do it all at once. And because of my position, in my work, I sometimes made decisions that affected other companies to the tune of billions of dollars.

I used to get lots of be nice to Kellen stuff from other executives. Free tickets to concerts and a free expensive bottle. Not a booze.  I needed that. But not bribes, but, you know, just be nice to Kellen stuff. And so, one of the things I got was a pair of tickets to see a Yo-Yo Ma concert. Now, if you know who, if you know classical music, you know who that is. And if you don’t, you don’t. He’s a cellist. But in the classical world, that’s, oh. 

I thought, oh, man, I’m going. And they were a thousand dollars each. They’re very expensive. But I had two tickets and didn’t have anybody to take them. So I asked the people whom I managed in the groups. I said, Who’s classical music? And there was a woman in one of the groups, and she said, Well, I do. And I said, okay, have I ever given you anything before? Because I gave away stuff all the time. And she said, no. And I said, okay, see you there. 

I gave her the ticket. We met at the venue, and the concert was amazing. And this is now about two and a half weeks later. So now I’m two and a half weeks stone-cold sober. The concert was amazing. Halfway through, I had this feeling that I had recognized from two weeks before.

And I heard this voice say, You need to marry this woman. And I said, you’re flipping insane. I said, I’ve screwed that up three times. I’m barely, you know, two and a half weeks sober. I said, This is not happening. So later that night, we were backstage because they were expensive tickets. After all, they were backstage passes and tickets to the reception and all that stuff.

We’re backstage, and the Voice returned and said, You need to tell her tonight. And I went nuts. And I said, well, there are a few problems with that. Number one, I know her because she works in one of my groups, but I don’t know her well enough to know whether or not she’s in a relationship.  I don’t know that. Number two, she can have me arrested for harassment or something, right? No, we’re not doing that. And you don’t win those arguments. 

 I did, and it went about as you would have expected. Are you insane? And she left. The good news was that she wasn’t in a relationship and didn’t call the cops or HR. And about three weeks later, she’d had her own set of experiences, and I walked away from millions of dollars in contracts, and she resigned her entire career. And we walked off into the sunset together.

Cosmos

Wow.

Kellen

And, last December, we celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. So that was the other half. And she was the angel that was sent to help me learn how to be a person, learn how to tell the truth, learn how to have a friend, and learn how to be a friend. Stuff I’d never learned in all my life. I was 52, and even though I’d been married thrice, I was a disaster. 

And so those two things together were a divine inter. Invitation. Divine intervention and invitation. The interesting thing is that it didn’t do any of the work. I still had to go to work and get my mental health issues fixed, talk to people, and do stuff. But it was a two-by-four loud enough to wake me up and commit me to walking on a new path. So that’s what happened in the summer and fall of 2007 that started me on the path that I’m on now.

Cosmos

This is amazing. You had a complete life transformation, which many people would want to do, but they don’t know how.  They don’t have a divine intervention or anything like that. 

So, if somebody’s going through something similar to you, a life experience where they’re in a rut and unable to get out. How would they have that catalyst that allows them to get out of that state and into a state where they can start changing their life?

Kellen

 I get asked that often because when I tell the story, people think, Just as we talked about a minute ago, I could never do that.

And you need to understand that all the experience did was wake me up. Your listeners have inspiration, intuition, and nudges that tell or push them in a direction. We all have those. I had ignored or been afraid of them or pushed them away all my life. I was at the point where I had tried,  I said, to commit suicide two weeks before, for the second time. The truth is, when you ignore these nudges, they tend to get louder. For me, this was the two-by-four moment. It was enough to wake me to consider the possibility that things could change. But it didn’t do any of the work. It didn’t make it easy to throw away old habits, quit cold turkey, or suddenly fix my mental health issues. It just woke me up and made me say, “Damn, I am done. I’m not going to live   this anymore.”

The key for anyone listening isn’t necessarily the divine intervention itself. It’s the moment you metaphorically pound the table and say, “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know where to go or how to start. I don’t even know what’s involved, but I will try. Whatever it takes, however much broken glass I have to crawl over, I’m going.” If you want to understand the first step—whether you need to make a small change or a complete life transformation—it comes down to this: deciding, no matter what happens, that you are going forward, no more excuses or nonsense. You’re going to that new place and not looking back.

It doesn’t do the work. And you’ve already had the invitation. And if you haven’t heard the invitation, then this is your invitation to say yes to your opportunity, your gifts, and your talents, and let this be your call.

Cosmos

So, Kellen, you talked about intuition and inspiration, and you had many of those, but you pushed them away. A lot of people have that, but they don’t trust it. So, how do you know what is coming from your ego, your delusion, or something from a higher place? I feel that people understand that this is their higher self or entity helping them and will help them change their lives.

Kellen

It is. And that’s a fabulous question. And I have the same. Had. I don’t anymore. But I had the same uncertainty. Well, am I making this crap up? Or is this, you know, some kind of intuition? And, here’s what I can tell you. When you’re quiet and create space to listen, the thought and feeling settle in a peaceful invitation. Trust it. When it’s your ego, it has that squirminess that doesn’t sit right. I’m not talking about what you can have. Can I do this? 

Oh, no, that’s not the same as worrying. Can I do this? Wow, this is scary. That’s a different feeling. You’re going to have that every time you try something new. I’m talking about a squirmy feeling, you know, someone says, I don’t know, bullshit. You know, sit quietly and listen. And if it feels peaceful, even though there’s. I don’t know how to do this. Ooh, it’s a little scary. That’s okay. We all feel that. It’s getting ready to jump off. You’re going to skydive or try something, you know, ski down a steep slope or whatever. Ooh, this is scary. There’s a different quality, and it comes. Learn. Learn to be still. I, you know, I help people learn to meditate because meditation is just the act of learning to be still physically and spiritually. 

You can hear. Because my experience is that intuition is quiet. And the only reason mine was so flipping loud is because I turned everything off. And so it was, a two-by-four, but it was the same invitation.

Cosmos

Well, Kellen, so basically you, what? What I’m seeing is almost a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde type of thing, where on the one hand, you’re the career, and you’re very successful. It’s a corporate America, Wall Street type of guy. And on the other hand, you’re also very spirited. You’re spiritual. And you have this inner intuition; you’re telling you to do the right thing. 

How did you do that? You went through what is called a spiritual type of warfare. But ultimately, the good won out. 

But many people have this internal battle between what they should be doing, what the right thing to do is, and what makes them feel good. For example, if somebody is listening to this and wants to. They want to have the higher self, and they will win. How would they do that? Because many people want to do something, but their willpower is not as strong, you know, then.

Kellen

Get the help you need. One of the mistakes I made was knowing I knew the addictions and the struggle, and your difficulties are going to be whatever they were. Mine were failed marriages. To have that, you have to be a liar. 

I was a pathological liar. You know, I drank. I had addictions. I had all kinds of these things. I knew that wasn’t right, but I got no help. I didn’t talk to somebody and say, I don’t want to do this. I need some help. I was either afraid because you’re supposed to handle all that crap yourself, or I was too proud. You know, I didn’t want to, ooh, I need some help. 

And I had to get over that. Even after the, you know, even after the two by four, I still had to do that and go to a, you know, shrink and say, look, I’ve been busted all my life. And he said, Well, tell me what’s going on. And by the time I told him the story of my previous life, and this is just a few weeks after this other thing happened, they’re saying, holy crap. Okay, so let’s start to unpack this. 

And I trashed the first few shrinks because I didn’t even know how to tell the truth and be vulnerable, you know, to tell the truth and then just shut up and listen. I was so used to being in charge, I would. It took me six months, maybe a year, and three or four counselors before I learned to be quiet and tell them. You know, talk, but then just be broken. Okay, I don’t know what the Frick I’m doing, so let’s talk and see what’s going on. I had to learn that. It was terrifying, it was scary. I. I didn’t know anything about how to do that. 

I don’t care what the difficulty is. If you’ve got these two forces inside of you, you must get help. I needed professional help. Then I hired many coaches because I wanted someone to talk to and test. Before, this had all been going on in my mind and heart. You can’t win that. And the deeper you get in this conflict, the more you can’t win that. You have got to get the kind of help. Nobody got to the Olympic podium on their own or to any other high place. You just can’t.

Cosmos

So, Kellen, many people want help, but their ego won’t allow it. Are they. There are a lot of sayings, Oh, I’m not. This is not some, this, this makes me look bad. Or, that’s embarrassing, or something about their inner stubbornness would stop them. 

Many must humble themselves to get help transforming their lives to create what they want.

Kellen

Yes, you do. And there’s no way around that. 

You have to decide. And you’re the only one who can decide. You’re willing to do just what you said, humble yourself. If you’re going to say I must preserve my ego and what other people think of me at all costs, you’re finished. You’re done. You’re going to keep fighting that battle until you die. Until. Or you crash and burn, and life humbles you. You’re free to work, but wait until life humbles you. You’re free to do that. Sure. Call. I can tell you that if you make the choice now, you can be discreet and do whatever you need to. I’m not saying you jump up on social media, and so, you, I’ve got all these problems. Some people do that, and I think that’s stupid, but you’ve got to. 

One of the things I had to learn when I started to see a counselor or two or three or four, is I had to be willing to say the truth and not minimize or justify, and just say and then listen. And that took practice and work, and it was scary and hard. But I can promise you that you don’t want to change if you’re unwilling to do that. And you’re free not to want to, but you won’t get anywhere.

Cosmos

So, Kel, I know you said that in 2018, you had a near-death experience. I’m very curious. What, what? What is the experience? And how did that change the way you see everything? Because I’ve heard a lot of experiences, and they just transform people, in a 180-degree way, you know.

Kellen

The big 180 was. That wasn’t near death. They called them steps, spiritually transformative experiences. So, I woke up in 2007. I had to do all the work. It took me three years, 2008, nine, and 10, talking to people and doing some hard work on myself.

After that, I started. All this growth started happening, and I started changing who I was. That led me to say, okay, I think I can help people with all the growth that I’m having. And when you embark on a path of growth, any of us, one of the things that comes out of that is that I can help people. Wow, this would be great. I wish I’d known this. Right, right. So I was feeling that and thought, how do I do that? Oh, I guess that’s coaching or something. 

I went and explored that, and I began to explore what it was to. To become a coach or to create that. And I worked on that for several years and got good at it. I created a coaching practice, and it was growing. And that happened from 2010 or so, two or three years after the other, up to 2018, now seven years ago. And in 2018, it was going well. I’d written several books and, you know, stuff was going well. Joy and I decided to cruise in the summer of 2018. And for some reason, we’d never been on a cruise before, so we did. I got sick. And at the end of the cruise, I came home sick. 

It took me several days to go to the doctor. You know, I kept thinking, I’ll get better, I’ll get better. And it just kept getting worse. I got sick on Monday, and five days later, I finally went to the doctor on Friday. And I was home by then because the cruise ended on Monday. We flew home, and finally, on Friday, I went to the walk-in clinic, and the nurse wouldn’t let me in. She looked at me and said, We can’t help you. You’ve got to go to the ER right now. So that was not a good sign. 

We went to the hospital, and they took me in. And, you know, in an emergency, you might wait an hour or two or three or whatever, depending on how many people are there. They took me in immediately. Ten minutes later, I was in a private room. Ten more minutes, and the doctor was there. That was fun. I didn’t have to wait three hours, but it scared me because I thought it wasn’t good. I just jumped the queue for all these people. Right. 

They admitted me to the hospital, and they did all these tests, MRI, X-rays, and everything else. And then they told me, look, at a minimum, you have pneumonia in both lungs, and it’s horrifying, but there’s something else going on. 

After I’m admitted to the hospital, I’ll send Joy home. It’s now Friday night, because we had dogs and cats. And I said, just come back tomorrow, and then we’ll figure out what’s happening. The doctor came back into my room, and he said, Yeah, I think we’re going to have to put you in the ICU, in intensive care. Wow. Okay. And then he came back a little while later, and he said, Yeah, I think we’re going to put you in biological isolation. 

So, think hazmat suits and double doors and, oh, wow. You know? Yeah. I’m, oh, crap. And then he came back a little while later, and he said, Do we have permission to intubate you and do anything we need to do to preserve your life? What? Okay. 

So, after he left, I was so sick. I was trembling so bad I could hardly use my phone. But anyway, I went into meditation to see what I could feel inside my body. And I had this really weird experience. I could feel something that felt like a zipper. And it felt my spirit and my body unzipping. So, I knew I was dying.

I picked up my phone and could barely hold it by then. And I sent a text to Joy, my wife, and it said three lines. First line said, I see you. The second line said isolation/intubation. And the third line said, I may be dying. And she didn’t see it because she was asleep by then. At 2:30 in the morning, she got a call from the hospital. Are you coming? And then she saw my text. Anyway, somewhere in there, I flatlined.

I died in the ICU. And I have a picture of me in there. And I was, you know, strapped, restrained on a stretcher and everything you’ve ever seen in the hot. Yeah, that. Okay. In every movie. So somewhere in there, I flatlined and I died. During that time, I woke up energetically and spiritually. And I sat up on the bed, and the room had changed. Instead of being full of tubes, doctors, and things, it was soft, gray.

Kind of a photo card, gray. A little bit foggy, and I couldn’t quite see the walls. And I looked around, and I could see a doorway over my left shoulder. And there was no door in it. It was just a doorway. And I wanted to be at the door. So suddenly, I’m standing at the door and leaning on the door jamb on my right shoulder. And I looked through the doorway and noticed that my side of the door was gray, and the other was white. And I saw somebody on that side leaning on that door jamb. And that person looked at me and asked, ” Do you want to come home? And in a millionth of a second, and in the way, you know, things in that situation, I knew what the doorway was, what the question was, who I was talking to, and all of it. 

And so, we started to talk about the question, and there wasn’t any expectation about what the answer would be, go or stay, but there would be an answer. You know, I knew that I had to answer the question. 

So, we talked about everything I’d done since 2007, all the work that I’d done, and what I was trying to do to add good to the world and help people. Finally, the overwhelming feeling that I had was that I wasn’t done. So, I said, well, I’m not done. 

He said, Okay. And that was the end of the first conversation, and the next day. And people ask often, How do you know? And I’m quite sure that’s when they were able to restart my heart, by the way, the next day. And people say, How do you know it was the next day? It was the next day. Okay, I was in a coma for 17 days. I don’t know, but it was the next day. 

We’re back at the doorway, and I’m doing the same thing. I’m there. We’re having this conversation. And the previous day’s topic didn’t come up because that was decided. 

 Then there was the question. So, okay, you’re going to say, what will you do? And we talked about my coaching work and the books I’d written and everything, what I’d done, what I was trying to do, and I’m going to do more of that. And the conversation was very leisurely. There wasn’t anything hurried about it. Anyway, I had an experience that I could not put into the language. There was a movie that was made in 1997 called Contact, about extraterrestrials that beam some info to Earth, and they build this weird ship. And if you’ve seen that movie, you know what I’m talking about. Have you seen that movie?

Cosmos

No, but I knew about extraterrestrial UFOs and all that.

Kellen

They built this thing, and they got in it, and it went off into the universe. Right. I refer to that because it’s the only thing I’ve ever seen remotely like what I felt. And I was transported through an infinite amount of space and saw everything. We don’t have words, glories, infinities, and things as powerful as you can see. And I felt if I hadn’t been in some kind of protective shield, I would have been incinerated in a heartbeat. But I was. I saw all this stuff; it felt like it went on for a long time and was breathtaking. 

After a long time, I don’t know how long it has been in real life because time doesn’t even mean anything there, but I’m back at the door. It’s just breathless with everything. And I realized that four things had been abundantly made clear. And the four things were that every one of us is an intentionally created, divinely created, purposeful being, period. Maybe not if we are the second thing that’s lovingly created. Just. And the second thing is that every one of us has a mission, a purpose, a meaning that we not only agreed to but were stoked about before we came. And the third truth was that we were given the gifts and talents needed to do that and enjoy it. The fourth thing was that all the help we needed was available from both sides of that door.

As I thought through those things, I asked, since that’s true, why do we settle for crumbs? And I don’t know if brevity is a virtue in the economy of heaven, but the answer is four words. He looked at me and he said, 

Because you don’t believe, and I’m, duh. I didn’t face palm. I thought about it. But anyway, so I said, okay, what can I do? What can I do to help? To you, you know, because we’d just been talking about what I would do. What can I do to help? Oh, glad you asked. So then what came was a framework about changing beliefs. Because we all have these limiting beliefs that we weren’t born with, but we create. Some are so deep, woven into our DNA, doubts, fears, and everything else.

The framework came about on how to change those. I have also written two books about this experience. One was meeting God at the door, and it just talked about these three conversations, and I haven’t told you the third one yet. The second companion book, the Book of Context, contains this framework about changing beliefs. And I call it that because it became clear that we live in a straitjacket of our own making. And I called it a Context Straight Jacket. And it consists of your Be deep, an acronym for Beliefs, Definitions, Experiences, Expectations, and perceptions. And that limits what we believe we can do, have, try, and everything. And it’s of our own making. 

So I wrote that in that book later. But anyway, so that’s what came then. And that second conversation felt, really, really long. And. And, you know, I was being fed with a fire hose the whole time. That’s just what it felt like. So that ended, and the next day, the third conversation, I’m. When I returned for the third conversation, I was excited. I felt. Was just bouncing up and down, somebody sitting on one of those bouncy balls at a desk, you know? 

I was excited and repeating all the stuff I’d learned. And the third conversation was just one question. He looked at me and he said, Are you sure? And I thought, holy crap.

What do you mean, am I sure? Am I stupid? Am I missing something? What? I was a little scared and thought, Am I biting off more than I can chew? M. Am I an idiot? Can I do this? Anyway, we talked about it from all those perspectives. And finally, I felt I was sure. And so I said, yes, I’m sure. And nothing was said specifically, but the conversation ended with the finality that I knew we were done. 

And so after that, I was in a coma for another 14 days. And when I came out of that coma a couple of weeks later, all I could talk about was everything that had happened and everything. And I. I assumed all the doctors and nurses would think I was crazy. But when I finally got released from the ICU to go back into the regular part of the hospital, the head of the infectious disease department said to me, When you get out, I need you to come back and tell me what you saw. 

So I knew that I wasn’t as crazy. It didn’t sound as wild as I thought it would. Anyway, I went back to the regular hospital. And then a few days later, I was released to go home. And I’d lost 35 pounds. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t move. The disease had trashed my lungs completely. I had necrotizing MRSA, which is a superbug, you know, an antibiotic-resistant death sentence that the guy told me the infectious disease head said, what you had has a 10-day kill rate of 100%.

Cosmos

Wow.

Kellen

And, you know, we talk about COVID 2 or 3%. It’s a 10-day kill rate of 100 percent. So, of course, you died. We didn’t even get to the hospital till the end of day five. And they didn’t figure out what I had till the end of day eight.

So it was inevitable that that happened. And I’m only, I mean, I’m here by choice, so that’s what happened then. And when you talk about change, I know those four things. And so when I look at people, I see their gifts, I see their talents, I see them as a divine, infinitely capable person who is locked up to various degrees by that context, straitjacket, but who is feeling this yearning to do and be all that they can. 

And so that’s the work I’m about and what I consider to be experience. Even though I died and lost 35 pounds, and it ruined my lungs and body, to some extent, it was a blessing. It was the cherry on the cake to me. And it felt validation for everything I’d been doing in the 11 years since 2007.

Cosmos

So, Kellen, what would you tell them if you had one advice to give anybody listening to this on how to get rid of their limiting beliefs and their straitjacket?

Kellen

The first thing you need to do is there are two things, three things I’m going to say. Number one, you must decide it’s time, and you will do whatever it takes. Even though at this moment, sitting here, you don’t even know what that is. 

So, the first thing is to commit. The second thing will also sound weird, and that’s to learn to love yourself. Because in the absence of deep and powerful self love, including all your flaws and mistakes and stuff that people don’t know and all that crap, that is the engine, your commitment. You put a wall there, and say, I’m not going back on this, and nobody can do that for you. And the second thing is learn, learn. Choose to love yourself. 

And whenever you say or think negative things about yourself, those are poison. Catch that, Change it. Because I don’t care where you’ve been. When I was in 2007, if there had ever been a poster child for somebody that should have been left at the bottom of the canyon, my face was on that poster. And even in that circumstance, it was an invitation. 

So, declare that you’re going. And going simply means I’m going to be a little bit better and a little bit better. And if you have a further destination in mind, that’s fine. In 2007, I had no idea I’d be the author of 20 books, 21 books, and be working on 300 million people this year. Those kinds of things were completely beyond my comprehension. I just knew wherever the hell it was I was going, that’s where you start. And learning to love yourself is a process because you’re a precious, divine being. 

So that’s thing number two. Commitment. Love yourself. The third one is to get the help you need. Because it’s so easy to get discouraged, it’s so easy to give up. It’s so easy to take those yearnings, get sidetracked, and put them on the back burner, and pretty soon they slide back to yesterday’s news. So do that. And I can promise you, if you make a firm declaration you’re going, learn to love yourself more every day, and get the help you need, you can have anything you want, period. So that’s it. And nobody can keep you from it, and nobody can do it for you.

Cosmos

So, Kellen, it reminds me of this one thing. All great religions talk about a battle between the ego and the spirit. What I see on a national level as well is that a lot of people are into celebrity culture, mansions, pools, cars, and the high life. And then they spend their entire life on that success thing. 

But there’s also a spiritual component that not many know about; there’s something beyond this life. And I think if people had a glimpse of what this is, what made me say this is because they don’t believe, right? 

Because you don’t believe in those four words you just told me. Many people do not have faith; even though they say they have faith, they do not believe in a higher power.

 Kellen

Just realized what I would say to that, and what I do say, not would say, what I do say to people is I call them on that thought. I don’t believe you. Because, you know, right this minute, when you’re Quiet. When you’re alone, when you have real, all you have to do is look at what happens when there is a disaster, when there’s an emergency, when there are fires, when there’s a flood. Where is everybody? God help us, they’re on their knees. 

And so the idea that you don’t believe is nonsense. You haven’t explored it enough to feel a connection. I believe that. But the divine force is all around us. We feel it in little ways. And maybe you’ve beat the crap out of it and ignored it all your life, I did. Okay? That can be where you start and your tool to develop. Learn to be still, learn to listen, learn to act. Because you’re free to ignore it, deny it, beat it up, and say no way all your life. You’re right, you can do that. And that will lead you to a particular place in terms of developing who you are and enjoying your life. But all you have to do is look at the celebrity culture with money, boats, and cars. I had so much money that a $3,000 weekly habit didn’t matter. 

And I had six cars and all that other stuff. There’s no happiness there. And you know that because of how many celebrities are indicted for this? Music moguls and infamous parties are all simply seeking satisfaction. 

And satisfaction isn’t found in stuff. It’s not found in, you know, repeated failed relationships. It’s not found in drugs or alcohol. It’s not found in that. Those are substitutions for the emptiness in your soul, only found when you listen to your heart and do what you are called to do. That’s the only place you’ll ever find what you want.

Cosmos

Wow. I mean, this is very inspirational. Kellen, I appreciate you sharing this with the listeners and me because it is so relevant.

And I know, Kellen, you have this podcast called the Ultimate Creator, your ultimate life podcast. Can you tell the audience more about that and how you got that started?

Kellen

Yeah, it was funny at the beginning of COVID because the word lockdown was first spoken 20 to 25 years ago. And somebody who was in a mastermind with me. My wife. And I called my wife. He wasn’t a client, but knew I did this inspirational stuff. 

He asked if Kellen has a podcast. Because they were, he was looking for something to listen to. And she said, we didn’t. And she said, yes, and then she came downstairs and said, we have a podcast. And so I decided, what can I do? And the thing that struck me, guess what? By intuition, it’s called your Ultimate Life. How to create a life of purpose, prosperity, and joy by serving with your life experience, gifts, and skills. 

So I started it in March of 2020. And we’re now five years in, and we’re just, as you said, nearly at a thousand episodes. I will record today at 970, something seven, or something 176. And it comes out twice a week. It’s on all the regular podcast places or YourUltimateLifePodcast.com, which will send it to you anywhere you want. Apple, Amazon, Spotify, Yo Mama, whatever. You can find it in all the places. 

And so that’s one thing. And another thing I have is a podcast or a program by the same name on LA Talk Radio, also called You’d Ultimate Life. 

So that is my mission. That’s one of the tools I use, because my commitment this year is to reach 300 million people and set their souls on fire with the willingness to recognize their gifts and talents, show up in real life, and serve to do that. And I can just see a vast multitude of millions, tens of millions of people who dare to stop listening to the opinions and the negative things around them and to do what they are called to do.

Cosmos

For my listeners listening to this, I recommend you all look at Kellen’s Ultimate Life podcast and his show on LA Talk Radio because it’ll change and transform the way you think about things, your limiting beliefs, and all of that. 

I’ve checked it myself, and it’s a very inspirational show, both the podcast and the talk radio. And, Kellen, I also know you have this website called Dream Build Write it dot com. You tell me in the audience a little bit more about that, and the books, regarding it.

Kellen

Yeah, so it’s right here, DreamBuildwriteit.com. And I do that because I started doing this work on myself in 2007, 8, 9, 10, and then I started writing books. I didn’t write anything before that. And I never planned to be an author. I never thought I would be an author. I never thought any of that. After I started doing this work and yearned to be of service, I was trying to figure out how to do that, and I realized I should write this down. I should create a book program to help. 

So I began writing. And I said, I’ve written many books since then. And after I started writing them, people would ask me, How do you write so many books? And I realized that I had developed a system to help you. This is not writing fiction, J.K. Rowling or Stephen King, but this is for people who have a message, who look at their own lives and say, you know what? I sure could help people if. Da, da, da. Any of those people. This dream build write. It is. We have a challenge in June, one later in the year, and then in 26. I put it on periodically to help people who have that same feeling I did, and realize they want to get a message out and don’t know how to start or where to go. So that website will show you the next challenge, and we’ll give you some info about how to get started.

Cosmos

That is amazing.  How can my audience connect with you and learn more about you, your work, and everything you do? And if they wanted to reach out, how would they do that?

Kellen

So thanks for asking. When you have a name like Kellen Fluker, you can’t hide. All you have to do is spell my name right. And there are only two in the world, and the other is my son. And, but there’s an age difference, so you can see that I have. I’m on most socials. If you Google my name, there are thousands of hits. 

So on page 345, it’s my old executive career. But pages one and two are all my stuff, and I’m doing it now. So, the YouTube website is my name, KellenFlueker.com. Imagine that. I only had to pay two bucks. Nobody else wanted it. Okay, so I’ve got a website: the thing up here, Kellen Fluker media.com. I’ve got all my books and the podcast; everything is on that site. So, if you want to see everything in one place, Kellenfluekegermedia.com. And there’s a contact form on Kellenfluekeger media. 

So, if you want to get a hold of me, there’s a contact form there. And I love meeting people. And the reason is that every person I see, I see your greatness, and I love it. And I also see that context straitjacket that everybody has either a little bit of or a lot, depending on what you’ve been through and where you’ve been. So, if you can’t find me, it’s because you’re not looking. Because I can’t hide.

Cosmos

Helen, I’m so thankful you took the time to come to this podcast and share your extraordinary story and experiences, because it is truly extraordinary. It’s almost surreal. I was listening to it, and I thought Wow. This is one of those life-transforming experiences that completely changes everything. And I appreciate that you let us share it with you. And I. I do hope that you take the time to come back on this podcast at a later time.

Kellen

 Thank you. And you know what, Cosmos? I want to honor you because doing a podcast is a labor of love and takes a lot of work. And I’m grateful to you for your effort to make a difference and add good to the world, because here you are doing that thing. So, bless your heart, and I appreciate everything you’re doing.

Cosmos

No, I appreciate you, too, Kellen. And I appreciate everything you’re doing with the LA Talk Radio and your Ultimate Life podcast, which makes a huge difference in people’s lives. And I want to conclude this episode by letting my fellow extraordinary Americans know that, hey, look, there’s an extraordinary within every one of us. We must awaken it and unleash it. Until next time, bye for now.