Welcome back to the show, my fellow extraordinary Americans. For today’s guest, we have Ray Charania. Ray is an entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and group home manager of South Asian descent from North Vancouver, Canada. His parents raised him and got divorced when he was 16, and it was a very traumatic time for him. 

So, he started hanging out with the wrong crowd, such as criminals and drug users. Which eventually led him to live a very wild lifestyle with them. Drugs and the club. After a lot of negative experiences, Ray, being at the end of his rope, went to rehab, into the controversial ibogaine program. Iboga is a route from Africa with strong lysogenic properties, similar to Hawassa. It was a powerful experience where he saw visions of his life leading down a dark path. As well as Urdu. But after the treatment, he was a Changed man, and his connection to Spirituality deepened. He started meditating and doing Yoga intensely. 

He also found his love for music again and started producing. And recording hip-hop. The songs he did very well locally, and he performed. All over Canada and was even chosen to perform in Toronto in front of 3000 people. He also got back to theater and acting, as well as healthcare. With his savings, he decided to start a group home for troubled youth. 

After doing that very challenging work for two years, he moved to working with adults. For the past five years, Ray has spoken at church and school fundraisers, spreading the message of recovery, success, and motivation and letting people know. That change is possible because If he can, Do they do it to raise somebody that I consider extremely extraordinary? And I’m honored to be on the show. Ray, are you there?

I’m there. I’m there, my friend.

Ray, it’s so good to have you on the show, and I wanted to ask you so I know you’re an entrepreneur, a motivational speaker, and a group home manager. Can you tell me and the audience more about yourself, your background, and how you got started?

Yeah, so basically, I am. I’m Gujarati. I’m Ismaili. That’s my religion, and I won’t talk too much about that. I don’t want to give you the wrong information, but you can always Google it. It’s about 50 million; it’s slightly higher; it’s worldwide, so. Yeah. 

So, you know, when I was young, you know, I got in with the bad crowd. I started experimenting with different things, and I just got caught up. I got caught up. And when my parents got divorced, that was a very hard time for me. It was a very traumatic time for me, and I was very vulnerable. My parents were very young when they had me. My mom was 19, and my dad was 21. I immigrated to Canada, and the immigrant experience was good for me. Canada is very multicultural. It’s not as entertaining our politics as the US, for sure, but I never experienced much discrimination, to be honest. Maybe when I was very young, when I first came to the country in elementary school, but everyone was very inclusive, loving, caring, and kind, making me feel like I fit in.

So, Ray, I mean, I know, like I am an immigrant and out of India, right? And I became a naturalized U.S. citizen. And you know, the immigrant experience is unique for people that come from different nations, especially from India, because, you know, it’s a completely different culture. And the Western world … has so many different ways of thinking and acting. 

 And so, what was yours? What was it like? Your transition over some time, like your teenage years, and how did you adapt to American culture, and how did that shape all of your experiences? That you have.

In the US. It’s very similar. You have people with different beliefs, different races, different cultures—kind of, you know, Vivek Ramaswamy, who’s a conservative, who’s running for president. He’s #2 in the race right now as a conservative.

So it just shows me that in Canada, you can really In America as well, you can have your beliefs. You can be who you want to be in other countries but can’t freely express yourself or say certain things. I think North America, in general, is blessed because we can get to know each other and connect on a deeper level. I find that My spirituality was shaped during my younger years. I meditated for the first time. When my parents were getting divorced, I was going through a really hard time.

After I finished the meditation, I felt like a feather, like I was just floating, and I’d never felt anything like that. I had a book. My parents had a book by Deepak Chopra called The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. One of his best-selling books. And that’s when I started to read it. And I started to learn about spirituality and being holistic. I didn’t want to do the work; they say faith without works is dead. I didn’t want to put in the work. I felt that, just by being a good person. Everything should just fall into place—my lap. And you know, when I got addicted to drugs, And I realized that I was addicted. I tried to… I prayed, and I said, God, please relieve me. You know, I like this addiction. 

But the truth is, I wasn’t willing to put in the work myself. And a lot of people, there’s this one joke where there’s this, there’s this flood, and this guy is drowning, and a boat comes by, and he says no. I don’t need God to help me. And then, you know, a plane comes by, and he says it’s OK. It’s OK. God will help me. And then he ends up dying, and he goes to the afterlife. He says God. Why didn’t you help me? He said I sent you a boat. I sent you a plane. You didn’t take it. You know, so we have to do our part. God sees the corners. I don’t see how he fills in. The blanks in my life provide opportunity, but I have to be the one to accept that opportunity. And I think many people think that everything will fall into your lap just by being a good person, and that’s like expecting a lion not to eat you because you’re a good person. That’s not the way the world works, so we have to, you know, do our part. 

And a lot of people, especially entrepreneurs—I know for me, God has blessed me—but at the same time, I had to do the leg work, and I had to kind of, you know, do certain things. So, I think there’s a, you know, they say spiritual, though in spiritual, there is the word ritual. 

Spiritual, it’s a ritual, so that means it’s something you do daily to maintain your spiritual condition. 

And there are certain things that I need to do daily to maintain my spiritual condition. You know, I go to 12-step meetings. I meditate, and I do yoga. I pray on my knees in the morning and at night. I do service. I give back. I help people. 

These are things I have to do to keep myself spiritually fit. And when I do those things, God can come in because if I’m filled with anger and resentment, then the sunlight of the spirit can’t shine through me. After all, it’s like a dirty window. If the window is dirty, the sunlight can’t shine through that window. And if we clean the window once, then the sunlight of the spirit can shine through. And that’s why I think it’s very important for us to get rid of anger and resentment. I had a lot of resentment towards my mom and my dad. 

And then I realized, why am I putting them on a pedestal? They were doing the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time. They were human beings. Just like, just like you, Cosmos. Just like me. They’re human beings. So Cosmos, I had to see that I have an amazing relationship with them. Right. And now I’ve gotten rid of the anger and the resentment because hurting people hurts people. If somebody hurts me, that means they’re spiritually sick. And what I have to do is…  We have to have compassion for them. I would have the same compassion for a sick friend with cancer. That’s how I look at it. 

And I’ve had situations where people have cut me off on the road, been rude or mean, and I have just. Of course, I wanted to react, as did human beings. That’s what separates human beings from animals. Animals are very intuitive. They have a thought, and they act on it.

With us, we can have a thought, but You don’t have to act on it. I was very impulsive before, so I didn’t know. That there was this great, and I think that for me, was kind of God restoring me to sanity. Right. 

So, when I changed my life around, I would see my old friends. I would see my old stomping grounds where I used to hang out, and sometimes I would drive by, and my head would say, well, why don’t we just turn into this? Place this dispensary or this pub, or whatever it is. And then I say, Wait a minute. That’s not. That’s not good for me. That’s not healthy. I could see somebody that I don’t like on the street. And my first thought could be that I want to go up and mouth off to them or Hit them or hurt them. They, but I could go up and shake their hand instead. So, we don’t have to act on every thought because not all our thoughts are healthy.

Yeah, Ray. Yeah. So, you know, a lot of people never come out of, let’s say, drug addiction or, like, they go into these places of darkness in their lives, and they never get out of it. But you had a deep spiritual experience, which seemed like the transition point. 

So could you tell me in front of the audience? A little bit more about Where you were Before, what was the transition point, and how did that lead? To the life you have right now.

So recovery, getting clean, finding a new way of life. These things. I would attend a 12-step meeting, and maybe 15 people were there. If everybody who needed to change their life and find a new way of life were attending, you would not even find a seat. 

So what is it? Why did I make it, and why did my friends that I grew up with overdose… in jail? My two best friends: One is dead; one is in and out of jail all the time. Mom is always calling me worried. I can’t… That’s a tough question. Why was I able to turn my life around? I just always had a feeling. When I was living that negative lifestyle, there was a voice inside me saying that this was not God’s will for me. Some people believe in reincarnation. And I do, too. And I feel like I have lived many lifetimes and am tired. I’m always coming back. so I want to do things right. 

Some people in this lifetime might not be emotionally ready. Their spirit might not be ready to deal with all the stuff that’s going on. I’ve had friends. They’re in denial. Denial is not just a river in Egypt; it’s real. I have friends who are in denial. I have friends who think this is just the way I am. I can’t change. I feel like you have to hit the dirt. You have to have hit rock bottom. There has to be a point in your life where you’re powerless and unmanageable, you know? Your whole life is in shambles. 

You know, and it’s not that I was on. On Skid Row But emotionally, I was on Skid Row because I had the same feelings the people there were going through. Maybe I was in my house, and I have family, but emotion. And I could see I was barely functioning. 

And I didn’t want to live like that. And if somebody wants to live like that. That’s OK. I’m not here to tell. People know how to live. I’m not going. I won’t follow the listeners after this podcast and watch what they do. I want people to live their lives, and maybe that looks like Something else. But for me? I just could not live like that. I just felt that I had a higher purpose, that God put me here for a reason, and that I needed to do it right. I want to make a difference. I want to give back. I want to help people, and I want to tell my story. I feel. That’s God’s will for me. God doesn’t give us what we want, and it’s a blessing. There was this. 

The gentleman who had a job interview on 9/11. And he’s driving to the job interview. He. Needs this job. And he’s about a few blocks from the towers, and his car breaks down. He’s going to be late now, he says. You know I have a family? What am I going to do it, right? Well, lo and behold. If he had been on time, he would have been dead. 

Sometimes, God looks out for us, and we are being tested to be molded into the people we’re meant to be. And some people—maybe they’re not. They’re not ready. It’s not easy; I’m powerless over other people. I can’t change you, Cosmos. I can’t change anyone. I don’t have that power. How can I control another human being when I can barely control myself? I tell myself I will go to the gym five times a week. I’m lucky if I make it 3. 

So, a human being is not like a sculpture you can mold and make the way you want. They have to want it. They have to want it. If you don’t want it, the door will not open. And you have to. Want a better life for yourself? You have to have that vision. And if you have that vision, you can do it. You can go through the withdrawals. You can go through the emotional pain, you know, and start your life again. I feel like I have started.

I had to start my life again. I have faith. I have faith in a higher power. Faith in a higher power is important because that’s where I get my strength. I never had. Growing up, I always believed in God, but I never had a relationship with a power greater than myself. I’ve never had a relationship with God. My God was like Santa Claus—police God. You know, give me this. Get me out of this, right? Today. I talked to God daily. He’s my best friend. When you have a friend, you keep in touch with your friends. You don’t. Just call them. Once a year or two times a year, you need something that’s not a true friend, right?

So, I have this relationship with the power greater than myself, which is so profound and powerful. And that is what fills the void inside me. You, because if you don’t fill that God-sized bowl with spirituality and God, then something else will fill that hole. The devil, the negative, the drugs, and all the toxic stuff are going to fill that hole. If I don’t fill that hole with the right things,

One thing that came to mind while you’re talking about God is that you know we always end up worshipping even the atheists and agnostics. They worship one thing or another. It’s determined by what they’re obsessed with. Or it could be a celebrity. It could be politicians. It could be the TV, like reality shows or whatever. You’re obsessed, or you spend the most. Our time ideating becomes your reality and comes your way of thinking, 

so you might as well like ideating on the right things, like self-employment or a relationship with a higher power, because everything is part of that one entity, right? So literally, there’s a saying about this thing, spirituality. If you’re thinking of something else, like silver or whatever, it’s nothing. Nothing is better than worshiping money, status, and power, like an idol, but it’s different. Like when you want to do something deeper, and I think that’s the problem with society these days. 

They are more into idol-worshiping things that are temporary and elusive. But if we go within ourselves with something greater than ourselves, we end up doing things much greater than what we could have done if we had a self-centered life.

There is no Recovery God that you must worship. This is not a cult. I’m not in a cult. I’m not spreading that. You know that there’s a certain God that you have to worship. You just have to have a power greater than yourself, and it has to be loving. It has to be greater than you. Now, if you look at There’s a power out there—the cosmos in the cosmos. There’s a power in the cosmos that makes your hair grow. That makes your nails grow. That makes a baby. A woman can have a baby, but she’s doing 20 other things. And this baby is just getting created. Naturally, imperfection comes with the seasons. We have the mountains. I didn’t create all this. I can put my hand out right now. I can’t even create one grain of sand. 

Cosmos, I can’t create anything, so somebody or something created all this for me. There has to be a creator because I’m a creation of the Creator, so there has to be a creator. And it can be nature. And you know, we also used to say in a saying they said, God, the group can be your G-O-D Group Of Drunks. Great outdoors. 

Yeah

Orderly direction. How about we just give good, orderly direction? Right. Let’s just do that. The more you practice, the more you see. Your vision, your concept of your higher power, will change. 

And then that relationship can start to evolve, but it doesn’t have to be certain. I’m not preaching a certain religion. I’m not preaching a certain dogma. I’m just saying that there is power out there. And we need to connect. It’s like my cell. Phone here, Cosmos. Suppose I don’t plug in my cell phone to my charger. It doesn’t work properly. If I don’t get on my knees in the morning and get charged up with that energy, I don’t work properly.

Man, that’s deep because. Yeah, you’re right about the cell phone. Yeah, it needs charging regularly the same way we need some sort of spirituality or something to charge ourselves because, otherwise, it will just get worn out over time. There’s a lot to uncover here, but it’s great. 

I wanted to ask you: What was the biggest lesson you learned during your time, from the transition to your ventures, entrepreneurship, music, and all of that?

What I notice is that I’m not in charge. I’m not in control. You can have two brothers open a convenience store—one on this side of the town and 1:00 on the other. One could do well, and one might not do well. I’ve learned about loyalty and that relationships are important. Not everybody has your best interests at heart. There are many people… Especially when I first changed my life around that I grew up. There was a lot of jealousy. There were a lot of, you know, crabs in the bucket. If you’ve heard of the late Great Hip-Hop,

Oh yeah. That’s like the crab in the bucket philosophy; I know that only too well.

Yeah, and my favorite hip-hop artist, who passed away in 2019, was Nipsey Hussle, an entrepreneur using his music and had opened up a store, a Plaza, who had bought the Plaza in the ghetto. Where he lived and, you know, started giving jobs to the convicts and helping people. And he was really, really a philanthropist, and various music was very motivational, and it still is. And, you know, he was killed outside of the store, you know, this amazing man helping so many people because there was jealousy. There was jealousy that, you know, he was successful. Right. 

So, you have to be careful. Not everybody has your best interests at heart. I am very careful about, you know, where I go and what events I attend. What kind of people? I’m around because you have to be careful. You don’t know who’s out there. 

So, you want to surround yourself. People going in the same direction as you are—the same vision. I know the power of groups, and I know that when you have like-minded people in the same room, The same building. The networking that can happen is so amazing. You know, I’m so busy with my work. I walk my dog. 

Maybe I might see some people, but I won’t meet them. Entrepreneurs or people like yourself, Cosmos, If I don’t put myself out there If I don’t put myself out in the community and let people know who I am, what I’m trying to do, and what I’m trying to accomplish, that’s when I thrive: when I’m connecting with like-minded people. When I’m helping or when I’m in service, When I’m a guiding light, a beacon of hope for people to succeed, to say, you know what, Ray, you, you know, you did this, and people have come up to me and said, you know, I’ve heard your story and, you know, I’ve had this. I’m hanging out with bad friends, and my parents are fed up, and I know how my life is going. And you know. You did it. I feel I can do it. 

So, what I’m trying to do is hang out with good people. They are loyal. And everything is not in our outcome. And we cannot control people. We cannot control people, and we cannot control Outcomes. I asked a friend What is the difference between my will and God’s will? I was very confused at the time. So, he said, Is it kind? Is it patient? Is it tolerant? Is it loving? Is it good for me? Is it good for you? Now, if you can answer yes to all those questions, Then you’re on the right track.

That’s the last part about differentiating between your will and God’s will. 

That’s something that I have to struggle with because I try to do God’s will, but I also have my selfish desires. It’s always a battle between what I want and intuitively knowing what God wants me to do, like he wants me to do things for the greater good and everything, but sometimes, I want to live a selfish life, and then it becomes a struggle between my micro-self and the greater power. So, I know that feeling.

And I’ve been down in life, and I’ve been up in life, and I know that money doesn’t equal happiness. We have this neighborhood, which is not too far away. It’s called British property. Like millionaires’ row, right? There are people there committing suicide all the time, right? These are successful people. 

Money is a tool. But it’s like blood. We have to keep it circulating. We have to give back. We must help each other feel fulfilled with money on its own. And I know that if anyone is listening right now, they have financial problems. They’re probably telling me that I’m crazy. Money is the answer to everything, but unfortunately, it’s not, and once you attain money and realize that you’re still unfulfilled, you can buy a new car. You’ve been happy for about a month, and that feeling disappears.

On great, if you went to India and told me this thing, all the starving people in India would be like men. What is this? The guy says you know. Because you know, I do Agree, I agree with what you’re saying; yeah, a lot of people… If I like money, it can only make you happy to a certain point; you have to earn a certain, but the thing with successful entrepreneurs and like success is that after that certain point, more money will not equate to happiness. 

There’s not going to be a difference between $1 million versus network or, like, $2 million net worth, like, your happiness is not going to increase, like, there’s like an amount that was put in there. Articles. 

Sometimes, I think it was $100,000 or $70,000, but it could increase depending on inflation. But after a certain point, it does. It does not equate to more happiness. That’s true. But when you’re in, when you’re, like, struggling when you’re in a survival or scarcity situation, you’re going to have a scarcity and survival mindset. If the conditions are like that, then it becomes very important.

And that’s why I’m not supportive of … even though I am supportive. But I think a lot of people have misunderstood. The secret? Rhonda Byrne, the secret if a starving child is in Africa or India thinks of a cheeseburger. They’re not going to get a cheeseburger. 

So it’s not that you think of something. And that thing is going to happen. You have. You have to embody it. You know, it’s like it’s like, you know.

Work for it.

They call it living backward in time. So, you have a goal. OK, you have a goal, and then you wake up, and then every day, Decision you make. You have to ask. Yourself. Is this going towards my goal, or is this going against my goal of living backward? Yeah, right

Because God is not going to show you the process because the process is what may mold you to be who you were meant to be. When I had a better car, I had a ****** car, right? But in my mind, it was the Mercedes. The way I took care of it and embodied It was a Mercedes car. Today I’m driving a Mercedes car. This is who I am. And then I’m just waiting for the universe to catch up to who you are.

Well, let’s say that who you are is not like, let’s say, you have an ideal state of who you want to be. And then, this is the thing that a lot of people like; they’re doing entrepreneurship. They’re on their way to becoming successful businesspeople, right? They have who they once were, and then they are; they have an idea of who they want to be. 

And then there’s this transition point where they’re slowly transitioning to the new person but then to the older adult. Like, that’s on you. Who do you think you are? This is ********. Like I know you. I know you must have had that at some point, right? Like you. There was a state where you were like a drug addict, right? And then there’s a state where you do entrepreneurship and succeed in your ventures. And all of that stuff. 

And then there was the old you keep resurfacing, probably. I was like, well, that’s not you. This is what the real person is like. 

So what would be your advice for somebody struggling to transition between their new self and who they are? I want to be ideally the Ideal person and then who they once were.

It’s like the caterpillar becoming the butterfly. You want to grow. You want to evolve. You don’t want to be the same person at 50 that you are at 30 or 20. You want to grow. You want to evolve. That’s very important. What I would say is that It’s OK to make a mistake. It’s OK to fail, right? I relapsed twice. I relapsed twice, which I’m going to get more into in my book, which we’ll talk about later.

I didn’t get it immediately; I had bumps in the road, right? I had, you know, I got into a relationship. I was very immature. The relationship became very toxic. It became very unhealthy to control. Jealousy. Insecurity. I was not emotional. I was too mature to handle those because I started using and partying and doing all those things at the young age of 16. 

So, when I finally turned my life around in my 20s, emotionally, I was still 16. I had to catch up. I don’t want anyone to think. That it’s going to be easy, it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be worth it. Right living. There’s this when you are. When you are involved in righteous living, there’s a certain Self-esteem. There’s a certain confidence you get. There’s a certain Pleasure. There’s a certain feeling you get when you’re doing the right thing, and you’re living on your path. What I also say is to give yourself some time. Suppose you tried getting clean, sober, whatever, and you only lasted three weeks, and you went back. That’s not enough time to see a contrast.

Right. Please give it up for one year. OK. And if you don’t like your life after one year, your misery is always refundable. Your misery is always refundable—the liquor stores. We are not going anywhere. They’re just getting bigger. The drug houses, and they’re not going anywhere. They’re always going to be there. Just try it. Give yourself a year. Give yourself six months. Just look at your life. Look at your confidence. Look at yourself. Look at your self-esteem. Look at your ambition. Look at how many things you’re accomplishing. 

 And then you can say: OK, this is my life: living for my purpose, living in recovery, and living in spirituality. This is what my year has been like, and this was my life before. And then you can make that contrast yourself and see.

So, this is a continuation of this, and also, like I wanted to ask you, what is the biggest challenge you think, from your perspective, you had over what you think you had in your career, and how did you overcome it? Like with regards to, yeah.

I always felt I could help everybody if I told them my story. You know, when I was working one-on-one, as a motivational life coach or in a counseling situation, you know, and I and I had a few people in the beginning.

I kept going back. To the old life again, they just couldn’t get it. And I said, What the hell? So, there are two types of spiritual experiences that you can have. There is that burning Bush white light that I had, right? That’s not that common, though, right? 

The more common is the educational variety: you have little glimpses during your journey: little awakenings, little enlightenments, little things. Unfortunately, I can’t help everyone, and that’s OK.

Even if I help one person in Cosmos, I consider myself a success if I can help one person change their life, and if I can help more, that’s even better.

Really. I love it, man. I’m really. I’m proud of what? You’re doing it because, yeah. Like you know, your story can be so compelling that somebody could be listening to it right now, and then this could inspire them, and it could just It’s that one nugget. They need it. Then, it creates a switch in their mind. And that’s it. There was one question. I wanted to ask you, Ray, was that?

Let’s say there was a time machine. You could go back in time to and for right now to your 16-year-old self, and you could have a conversation with him. What would you say? Do you? What would you tell him? So what I would do is what I would do.

Before I touch on that, I say that sometimes, we don’t know what’s good for us. We do not know what is good for us. My best thinking got me into that negative situation. So sometimes we don’t know. We don’t always know what’s good for us. 

When I was 16, I wanted to be, you know, a famous hip-hop artist. But that’s when I was still, you know, partying crazy drugs with women. Now, if God would have given. Me, I’m sure. I’m sure. I would have overdosed. Because of how I was living, I was not ready to have that. It would have been detrimental to me if I had been given that. Can you just ask that question again? Cosmos, I just want to know, is that the last question?

Oh yeah, so, like, if you could. Go back in time. Machine and talk to your 16-year-old. Old self, and you have, you have, you could. Have a conversation with her. Them and give them advice. What would it be?

Cosmos, I would tell him. Don’t change a thing. Because of everything I went through made me who I am today. I wouldn’t be this person if I didn’t go through that. I wouldn’t be this eccentric and energetic, just on the go. You know I love myself. I love you. 

And everything I went through. Yeah, it was painful. It was super, super, super painful. But it made me who I am today, and I’m proud of who I am today. Don’t live with regret.

You know what Deepak Chopra says. You know, the past is history. The future is a mystery. The present is a gift. That’s why we call it the present. 

At present, it’s a Gift, right? Yeah, they say if you have 1 foot in yesterday and 1 foot in tomorrow, you’re ******* on today. Whatever happened, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t define You. Look at Oprah Winfrey. OK, she was prosecuted as a teenage prostitute. She got pregnant by somebody way older when she was young and had a stillbirth baby. Just, you know, living on the streets is, you know, just a horrible lifestyle. 

And if I told you, Cosmos, there’s a woman. Who is selling herself on the street? Who had a stillborn baby by some guy that she just randomly slept with and is on the street and living a very dangerous lifestyle? I would ask you, Cosmos, what do you think the future of someone like that would be?

On a probability rate. Not pretty good, but in my life, I’ve seen many comebacks, like people that you would have thought could never have succeeded or whatever from what their environment was. But they still pulled it off. So I know it’s possible, but probably not very good.

That’s Oprah Winfrey. So, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through. I’ve been wrong a lot, too. I’ve slept on people that I didn’t think that you know, it was going. And then they end up making it. And that’s why I don’t judge anybody anymore. Right. And I’m sure many people felt that way about me, too. 

This guy’s right off. His life is going negatively, you know. The only thing I can control is myself. If I allow other people’s opinions to affect me, they are my God. They are my rulers. There they are. They have so much. I’ve given them so much power that they can get me out of my normal being and act out. And a lot of people. They want a reaction. I used to just, you know, have a short temper. Sometimes I would act out. But why would I give somebody that much power to get me out of myself? 

What do other people think of me in my business? I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. But I’m somebody’s cup of tea. And not everyone’s going to resonate with my message. But some people will resonate with my message, and the truth is, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what you went through… Instead of wishing things were different, you can use that as an asset to help people.

This is some Deep stuff, right? Cause a lot. When people have bad things happen to them, they’re like, God, why did you do this to me then? I have, like, the worst in India, they would say. It has the worst karma. All this and like this is a disaster. 

I’m what; we’re what we’re getting over here. This podcast is something you can have. It was the worst experience ever, and you can turn it into something that can help a lot of people, and it’s basically A story, right? Like, oh, you went over here, and then you can. You have reached here, and that’s what God wants us to do because God knows if you have somebody like that. 

On a Krishna Buddha level, if somebody were already perfect from the beginning, nobody would get inspiration from it. They’ll be like, Oh, he’s just like a high-level person. The person’s already a St. I could never reach there. How can I do when somebody came from the bottom and made it to the top, and it shared with them the process and the mindset of how they did, and they were like, OK, this guy can do it, I can do it too? It changes everything.

And it’s a victim mentality. It’s a victim mentality. I honestly don’t even believe that. And I could be wrong. I don’t know, but even enlightened people have gone through stuff. It’s just that they process it differently. I think humans experience victim victimhood victim mentality. I would not be here. It’s, you know, I got into it. 

My parents got divorced because, you know, I’m from a different country or … people were nice to me. You’re like, you know, it’s always something else. If you don’t take responsibility for your own life, once you’re 18, you are responsible for your own life. Nobody owes you anything. You.

Ray, if you tell that to an Indian kid in India, they’ll be like, What are you saying, Ray? Because, you know, the parents care for you way after you turn 18. Yeah. But yeah, as you were saying,

Yeah. And that’s true. That’s true. And if you’re lucky enough to have that. Good for you, that’s. Amazing. But in reality, that is a traditional thing. You are responsible for your own life. If you blame other people for your circumstances, you will never get Out of those Circumstances because you’re not taking responsibility; you’re just blaming. Blaming. Blaming, you know? You know, it’s like this, guys. It’s like, and why are we in recovery when we do? 

Step four, we. Write down a list of all our resentments. OK. Because with us, Cosmos, we say this person is hurting, but that’s as far as we go. We will stop it there, but you must go further than that, Cosmos. You have to say, What part did I play? Play in this. What? What did I do to get the ball rolling? Right. Oh, yeah. My wife left me, but what… Well, I cheated on her. I was abusive to her. 

Well, oh, ****. Well, no wonder she left Me. 

So, we have to look at the Parts we always have—a part of everything we do. And even if it’s something we don’t have a part in, there was A girl like that. She approached me and said, Ray, you know you talked about writing. Down all your Resentments and looking at Your part and taking responsibility Well, I was molested.

When I was a kid, what part did I have? And I had to think about that, and I said that the part you have in that is that you’re still holding on to it. And you need to let. It goes because it’s no longer serving you anymore.

Wow. I’m blown away, Ray. 

That’s really deep stuff. Yeah, like, because you just hit the nail on the head. Most of us tend to hold on to things past their expiration date. I know bad things happen to us, but we just must move on, you know, because other people sometimes like the hardest thing to do. Do it like, just like love and forgiveness. 

And just don’t forgive but forgive; in the process, you let things go, and in the long term, you end up much happier. But it’s hard to do for many people, you know. But it’s the right thing to do. It’s like the hardest thing to do.

Let go and let God.

Holding on to things keeps us sick. It’s not good for our Health, and if you are of the reincarnation belief, you might have to come back and deal with that because you didn’t deal with it right. You have to deal with these. Things you, you would be. They will come back. They won’t come back. And if you don’t deal with stuff, you have to deal with your light. You have to deal with what’s going on. It will come back.

No, I mean, I am like, in my belief system, I understand like Karma right or like the law of cause and effect. You have actions all your life, and then you have reactions, and you know you have to face them at some point. 

And so it’s something you have to like, it’s kind of like. I know that I could take responsibility for my actions, at least in the present, because I know what my actions do in the present moment will dictate my future—my future life, you know, or like, even my environment in this life itself. So yeah, I’m very aware of my thoughts and actions. And if we have to, we have to go. About this world, according to you

I’ve sat with clients who haven’t dealt with their childhood stuff, and you can see how it affects their lives today in different areas. It’s creeping up because they haven’t dealt with it. 

So you have to deal with these things, and how you deal with them, You write it down. But you have to; you can’t do this alone. You have to do it with someone. And you have to write it down. You have to look at your part. And then you have to. Let it go, and then remember the person who hurt you is hurting. 

Hurt people, hurt people. 

So, instead of holding a grudge, Let’s be compassionate toward that person. Let’s pray for that person. You know, I had such resentment against my ex-girlfriend at one time, and a friend of mine said I wanted You to pray for her. Every morning, I want you to pray that she has the best life and that everything she wants happens for her. I was so upset. With her, I said, how can I do that, and you know, after two weeks of doing that, my resentment was gone. And you know, I realized that she was just doing what she knew best from her level of consciousness and that it was never about me. It was her issue that she hadn’t dealt with. 

So I think it’s very important to forgive, to let go, and to remember that the people who hurt us are sick. They’re sick people. We have to have compassion for these people. You know, this revenge, holding on, anger, and then making amends for past wrongs. I don’t want to live my life looking over my shoulder because I screwed some guy over. Make amends if you want. If you think this is This stuff, you know. It is; you have to clean this up. Stuff out. It’s like dirt. It’s like gunk. 

You have to get Rid of it, right? Yeah. And I did it like I’ve done it. And you feel so, like, and you feel alive.  If anyone has any questions or wants to reach out on how to do this process of letting go of anger, cleaning out the self, and letting go of anger, because if you don’t see what happens when you don’t get rid of all that stuff, it rots. It festers. It festers.

Having a glass of wine and taking the edge would be best. But it would be best to have a joint to remove the edge. You need drugs, right? So that must be removed so that the sunlight of the spirit can shine through. You use me as a vessel. We are vessels for God. I didn’t ask to be here. He put me here, for He has a purpose. He felt that I should be here. I don’t get to ask that. I want to be here, and I don’t get to say when I want to leave. That’s not up to me.

So I didn’t come here willingly. I was put down. Here on this planet for a It’s in this big world. God felt that this rain was needed to complete the thing. Right and. I just wanted to. I wanted to uh, you know, I wanted to uh to read you this whole. I just want it to be just a quote, and it’s just beautiful. OK, look at it. How cool is it that the same God who created mountains, oceans, and galaxies looked at you and thought the world needed one of you too?

That is, that is pretty deep, yeah. No, it’s true. So. So I want to ask you so many questions. Questions, but like the time is Coming to an end.

So I wanted to ask. You talk about your book, The 12 Steps to a Better Life. Can you like that? You say that you’re writing? Sometime next year, can you? Can you tell the audience the premise of that and more about it? What about that book?

So, the 12 steps to a better life are about letting go of anger and resentment and realizing that the people who hurt us are sick. The 12 steps are not something that I invented. They were invented in the 1930s by a gentleman named Bill Wilson, who was the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

His story was that he was inspired to write these 12 steps. These 12 steps are life-changing, and I’ve worked them out. But you know, so many people tell me that regular people can use these 12 steps. Why are these 12 steps only reserved for people with a gambling addiction, an alcohol addiction, or a drug addiction? Humanity. Benefit from these steps. 

So what I’ve done is I’ve taken the 12 steps of recovery, formatted them, and put them in a way. That everyone can use them. And instead of saying, I’m powerless over drugs. I’m powerless over gambling, or I’m powerless over alcohol, and my life has become unmanageable. I’m powerless over everything. And I need it—a higher power. To restore me to sanity and being restored to sanity is what I said earlier. Right, I’m driving down the street, and I see a pub, or you see your old friends or your old dealer or whatever, and you’re driving, and you see that, and you might have that old thought come back and say it’s very lightly. Oh. Maybe I should just say hello, but then you say no. You have to play it out. Right, right. Because a lot of times, we just think about instant gratification, right? I’m stressed out, and I and I need relief, and I’m, and your mind is not working right. 

So you know meditation is not an Option. Sharing with a friend is not an option. You go back to what you know.

Yeah, I would recommend my audience check out that book when it does come out because people need to know more about it and how to deal with life. One of the right mindsets and actions is that if you have the right perspective on anything, you can go through a lot of life if you know that sometimes, even if bad things happen to you, this. This is how this can be utilized. To help a lot. People then, yeah, that’s how that’s it’s all about perspective. So, on a different note, are there any other projects you’re working on that you want the audience to get a glimpse into

I run a residential group home for people with mental health issues: older individuals, autism, and Schizophrenia. You know, you feel alcohol syndrome, and so I’m, you know, I just focused on that in the future. I do have plans. To grow, you know, I have a few guys I’m working with right now, but I want to. I want my home to grow. Right now, it’s just about getting this message out. 

I feel like we are in a time in society where people are divided. If you look at the political landscape, If you look at everything that’s going on in Israel, we are very divided. There’s a lot of division, and we need to come together. We need to let go of all this anger. We need to let go of all this hate. We need to find love. We need to find Peace is what we need. To connect again. COVID put a damper on many things, and we still feel the effects of COVID-19 on the economy. We’re still feeling the effects of COVID-19 on relationships. You know, abuse went up, spousal abuse went up, and drug addiction went up. You know, we have to get back. We are at a very pinnacle time in our history. We are at the puberty stage of our lives. Evolution right now, like we are just at that spring right now.

I think this is the time. This is when many people are lost right now, which means they want. I was one of those people, and it’s like if I can get out of the hole, I can reach out my hand and have someone. Otherwise, get out. Of that hole, too. And it’s not going to be all unicorns and rainbows. There’s going to be some emotion and struggle. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You know it, it’s good. It’s good to go through things right and wrong so that how I feel doesn’t determine how I live my day. 

So if I feel like crap, if I say I’m going to go to the gym If I say I’m going to meditate, if I say I’m going. I do yoga, and that’s on my schedule. Check this out, Cosmos: You can’t think your way. You can’t think. You can’t think your way into a better way of living. You have to live your way into a better way of thinking. Take the body. The mind will follow. 

So you could say, Oh, you know, I don’t. I don’t want it. To go to that meeting, right, and I’m tired. You’re not, but you know. But. But you know that you know—that must be done for your future or well-being. 

So you do it. So, how you feel should not determine how you plan your day. Whether you feel like crap or you feel good, you have stuff you need to do. You get it done. And then what starts to happen is that it becomes more like a routine, and then you automatically know you. It becomes a new way of life, and you and I enjoy it. This is a new way of life.

No. Totally. Yeah, it’s very true. So, wait, how can, uh, how can our audience connect with you and get to know you? More about you, And I like the work that you’re doing.

OK, so I’m at a place in my life. Where am I? Want to work with people one-on-one? I want to help people, as people say. You know. It helps me. Like, it’s funny. It’s like people think, Well, you’re you. You’re helping me. But it also helps me because it reminds me of how I was and reinforces positive mental patterns when working with people.

If you want to find me on Instagram, Real Ray C. REALRAYC, You can even find me on Facebook at Ray Charania, so you know we’re in a good place right now. 

I’m very accessible. You know that. That might not always be the case. But right now, you know, this is my mission. This is the marathon that I have. I want to get this message out there, and I will just say I’m. I’ve got it. I’m putting it all out there right now.

Ray, that is. So awesome. I’m so grateful for that. You took the time to do this podcast with me and share your experiences, and your mindset is how you will come up with your experiences because there are people out there who could be listening right now and be very inspired. And they’re like, OK. I’m going to turn my life around. And I can. Do this, and so it means. I appreciate that you took the time to do this, and I would want you to come back later to the show.

Osmos, I’m a big fan. Of your work, you are honored to Be here. Thank you very much for having me, and I respect that you know what you’re doing, your vision, and what you’re trying to do with this podcast. And I wish you nothing but the best. And if you ever need anything, I’m there. Just a phone call away. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Ray, and I want to conclude this show by letting my fellow extraordinary Americans know their love. There’s an extraordinary connection with each one of us. We must awaken it and unleash it until next time. Bye for now.