Cosmo

Welcome back to the show, my fellow extraordinary Americans. Today’s guest is Carey Conley. Carey is a nationally recognized speaker, author, and entrepreneur who specializes in helping team leaders and small business owners create game-changing visions for their lives and careers. She’s a vision matters speaker and coach who has built two successful businesses over the past thirty years.

Her personal journey, filled with extraordinary successes and devastating tragedies, is a testament to the power of resilience and determination. These experiences not only bring depth to her message but also inspire others to achieve what they never thought possible. 

Her unique ability to guide people in creating, developing, and executing a vision that is bigger-than-life is a beacon of hope. This vision propels them to succeed in all areas of life, from self-love to financial prosperity, from a healthy lifestyle to caring relationships, from a strong family to supreme conference, and from team leadership to personal growth. 

She is the author of Keep Looking Up and hosts the Mental Health Breakthroughs for Young Adults and Their Families podcast. She is an Australian American, and I’m glad and honored to have her on the show. Carrie, are you there?

Carey

Yes, I am. Thanks for having me, Cosmos.

Cosmo

Thank you, Carey, for sharing your valuable insights and experiences with us. We truly appreciate your time and the wisdom you bring to our podcast. Could you please share more about yourself, your background, and how you started on this remarkable journey?

Carey

Yeah. Thank you for asking. This was a long time ago when I was in my late 20s. Cosmos, I was doing what everybody else was told to do. Right. I got out of college, got a degree, and got married. And I was not doing the work for somebody else thing. Really. I was self-disciplined and hard-working, but I wanted my freedom. 

And so, a mentor told me, Carrie, you can create your life to look however you want. Look, you just have to get clear on what that is. And so, for the first time, with her encouragement Cosmos, I took a day off work and, with the legal pad of paper, a little journal, right? I sat down and wrote out in great detail what I wanted my life to look like. I knew about my relationship with my husband, where we were living, what kind of traveling we were doing, and that we didn’t have children yet, but I knew we would soon. 

I wrote a lot about wanting to work from home when I had my kids, right? And so, Cosmos, what happened that day is that I got clear on manifesting the life I wanted.

From there, I became an entrepreneur after I had my son, and I was pregnant with my daughter, so I built my first business. And 12 years ago, after we had become empty nesters, I decided to teach and start teaching other people. Why is having a vision so important, and how can I write it like I did? So, I became a speaker and an author. 

As you mentioned, I have a podcast, and I’ve helped many people with the vision because most people are just drifting through life, and that’s not great.

Cosmo

Well, OK, I have one question since we’re talking about vision. So, from the day that that event happened to now, how did your strategic vision for your life evolve from that movement to what it is at this point throughout your career?

Carey

Sure. As I mentioned, one of the reasons I wrote Cosmos was that I knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I did not. Now, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I just knew that I wanted a six-figure residual income. I wanted to be a leader in whatever I was doing, be around other strong leaders, and have the freedom and flexibility I was talking about. 

So, when I wrote all those things, the next thing I did Cosmos was I wrote a bunch of ideas like, you know, maybe I’ll go into advertising and marketing, which is my background as a consultant. Maybe I’ll go into skincare or health and Wellness. You know, lots of question marks. 

And because I was clear about my lifestyle and what I wanted to achieve. After I had my son, I got introduced to a company in the network marketing industry. It’s a company a lot of people know of called Arbonne. And it was just like, Oh my gosh, you serious? This is it. This is exactly everything I want. So, it checked all the boxes for me: residual income, working from home, earning trips, and being a leader. 

So, when I do a workshop or speak, I tell people Cosmos; I tell people the top 10 reasons having a vision fixes just about everything. One of the things I talk about is that when you write out very clearly what you want your life to look like, it will help you attract into your life the career path that you want to go down, and you will know it instantly. 

I think so many people really struggle with career paths. I work with them on the vision because it makes the path much clearer.

Cosmo

So, it carries a lot of people in life. They do not have a clear vision for their lives; they’re just going on like robots, living somebody else’s vision or dream. 

So, for somebody looking at this podcast right now who doesn’t have a clear idea of their vision, how would that person go about having a vision for their life for one year, two years, five years, or ten-year period? Like if they have to come to you.

Carey

Yeah, yeah, this is kind of my secret sauce. So, the whole thing I do when I get people to work with me on their vision is to ask them to find a quiet space. It is even better if you can go to your happiest place like for. Me. It’s the beach and with a journal.

Cosmo

It’s for me as well. I go there.

Carey

There’s just something about it.

Cosmo

Calmness, like the waves going over your feet, creates that effect. Yeah, I can’t agree more.

Carey

Yeah. I think what you’re looking at is just so surreal, right? I just put you in a whole different headspace. So, I encourage people to get in a happy, quiet place, totally isolated from distractions—your family, friends, the phone, the computer, everything. And I want you to date that journal as if it’s three years from the day. You’re going to write this.

So, we put the three-year date on there and then after the. Date right. How old will you be? And how old will your family members and kids be? Grandkids. Parents. If you’re still they’re alive and you’re involved in their life, two things happen when I get people to think about this one: they start seeing how different their lifestyle might be in three years because of how old they will. Right. 

They start seeing that what they’ve got going on in their lives right now is not necessarily the dream life they want to create. 

So, after they write the date and their ages, I get them to write out, as I did, in great detail, defining to me what their life looks like—in every aspect: their family, their finances, their career, their family, and their fitness.

Get as much detail as possible and write it as if it is three years out, so it’s very affirming. Don’t write things like – I’m kind of hoping this will happen. I’m trying. It’s very black and white so that your brain can create it.

Cosmo

One of the things that I found out when creating my vision is that I have to constantly ask about how to get that motivational feel, right? 

So, as they say, vision is like that car that drives you to a place. Without the motivating factor of why you cannot, you won’t have the fuel or oil to keep the engine going. 

Many people might have a vision but are wiser and tend to be on superficial reasons, like money or status. So, from your perspective, how should the person look into their way to get that burning passion for whatever they want for their life?

Carey

Yeah. Again, the top 10 reasons I tell people you need a vision are as follows: One of the tops is that it will help move you through anything, right? 

So often, you’re talking about Cosmos with people losing their motivation, right? They get excited about something, and then something happens in their life, and they disconnect and get distracted. And it could be little things. You know, little, like your dog got sick one day or, you know, something happened, or it could be a major thing. As you mentioned in my bio, I’ve been through several tragedies. I’ve lost both my husband and my son to suicide over the past ten years, three years apart.

Cosmo

I’m sorry to hear.

Carey

That. Thank you. And so, my why is so in bed? As I mentioned, income was my driving force when I started my first business. We wanted to help put our kids through school and travel and do it as a family before leaving the house. You know, those were all very monetary-type things, right? 

But for me now, I’m doing what I’m doing still and what’s keeping me going Cosmos because I know that right now, people need vision more than ever, especially young adults, so I named my podcast Mental Health Breakthroughs for Young Adults. There’s a lot of depression, anxiety and unfortunately. Suicide in that age group, early 20s, early 30s. 

So, what I’m doing now is my driving force to change that trajectory and leave a different and bigger one—a legacy. So, the Y has to be outside you and way bigger than something you could just go by.

Cosmo

Yes, you’re right. A lot of people go through depression and anxiety, and there are so many people going through hardships today as well. 

And it affects their ability to do their life. So, just like I would like to elaborate, how should somebody go? Dogs view the challenges in their life and the hardships so that they don’t get to that place of anxiety and depression because there is a huge swath of the current population, like millennials and Gen. Z, that are lost because of the ever-changing conditions.

Carey

Yeah, that’s a big question with a lot of answers. One is that you have to be very personal and development-driven. You have to want to get better; I think what helps you do that is to start seeing beyond the circumstances as they are now, which is why the vision is so important, Cosmos, right? We have to have that anchor of hope.

So, we’ve got to get beyond what’s happening right now and see a different future. The second thing is that you’ve got to be around others who can help you stay accountable to the vision. I’ve surrounded myself with some of the best of the best, so thought linker thought leaders in the world because, number one, they pour into me and help me keep growing, and #2. They remind me of my mission and that I matter and have a purpose. I think the biggest problem, one of the biggest problems of these generations, Cosmos, is that there’s too much isolation.

Cosmo

It’s interesting because social media was supposed to bring people so much together, but only need the more isolated, which is the ultimate paradox of our generation.

Carey

Yes, it is. But statistically, your generation is the loneliest, and when I heard that probably about a year ago, somebody shared those statistics with me. I was kind of surprised. I thought it would be my generation because I’m in my 60s. 

You know, a lot of us are divorced widows. Whatever. But it’s yours. And it has a lot to do with social media, a lot to do with comparison, and self-doubt. You know, one of the things that I’m starting to work with young adults is opening up a new Academy called Victory Academy for young adults so they can get this coaching, they can get accountability, and they can get skill building.

But one of the biggest things is. It’s the community that you need to support each other. Because I’m being told that as early as you know, you’re 22 years old and already feeling behind. And I think that’s wild.

Cosmo

Terry, what do you mention about social media being so accurate? People put their best pictures and videos on social media. Then, everybody compares their real-life worst selves to their so-called best artificial selves on social media. 

And it creates a lot of self-esteem issues. I don’t think people realize the gravity of the situation. It’s been a blessing and occurs simultaneously. But I don’t know what your thoughts are on that.

Carey

It is a blessing and a curse, you know? I wish it did not exist, and I would not use it personally because I wasn’t a podcast speaker. You know, it’s a tool I use for marketing, awareness, and exposure, but I’m very careful about how much time I spend on it and what I think when I’m scrolling and seeing others. Speakers and coaches look like they’re out there crushing the world. Right? 

We just have to be so guarded around, knowing what we’re looking at is not real. And get above the negative thoughts and the negative narrative that goes on with that.

Cosmo

Yeah, I must add that it changed how relationships are done on every single level for thousands of years. We lived in small communities, and then, with the advent of social media and travel, we could go wherever we wanted, whenever we wanted, hang out with other people, and talk to people long distance. 

The process also divided a lot of families. It’s something that I’ve noticed.

Carey

I agree. Yeah, I agree. You know, there’s no. I was with my family a lot this past weekend. And there was a lot of downtime because my mother is aging and not doing well. And so there was a lot of sitting and just talking. And I noticed myself kind of getting antsy. For example, when do people sit around and visit Cosmos anymore? You know, that’s such an old thing.

Cosmo

But Carrie, one of the questions I want to ask, and I don’t want you to answer, is what do you think was the most challenging time you went through, and how did you overcome it? I’m asking because many audience members might go through things alone. 

They are isolated whenever they’re going through depression or something. How did you go About overcoming the hardest times in your life?

Carey

Well, those were losing. For my husband and my son, the hardest time of that, of course, was the shock because, you know, it’s suicide. You often do not see it coming, so it is incomplete. Nothing in the real world for a while is challenging because you wake up having to remember everything repeatedly. 

There were weeks, months, and sometimes years of that. I went to bed at night and woke up in the morning, having to replay it. All right, what got me through that is that I had four friends who stuck with me right through all of it. 

The second thing was that they honored my wishes of how I wanted to be cared for and not what they wanted to do. My daughter and I co-authored the book you mentioned. Keep looking up; in the book, we talk about everything we’ve learned through that journey. 

One of the things we shared, what we learned, was that if you are trying to help somebody move through some sort of adversity or loss or something like that, please honor what they want and not what you want to do. So many of our friends, you know, wanted to bring us food or come over and just sit and hug and cry with us, and those were two things that neither of us wanted.

So, we call them the safe people. They have a whole chapter on finding your safe people. Right. The third thing I would say is that the cosmos is just honor. Give yourself a lot of grace and a lot of compassion. Don’t rush it. Do what feels right, not what anybody else tells you to do. You know, so many people told me right after my husband died not to sell the house. Do not make any moves. Do not, you know, take some time off. I didn’t do any of that. I did what felt right for me. You know, that’s just how I gave myself the compassion that I needed.

Cosmo

Yeah. In today’s world, many people are very hard on themselves and judge themselves harshly. We do not even realize that because of our isolationist culture. They just suffer by themselves, and nobody knows what’s happening. But a lot of the time, the negative cell doubt comes from within.

For the audience’s sake, you must realize that you must create a narrative in your mind that fights, which causes your emotional state and mindset to be in control. But you have to go into that safe space and be surrounded by the right group of people who do not add to that because your environment does matter, and you have to be. And I would. Firstly, advice to anybody listening to this is to do meditation because they are like a form of Zen meditation because it calms the mind. 

Then you realize that your thoughts and emotions are not your thoughts and emotions like they are; you’re like the witness behind your thoughts and emotions. And then, if you want, you can change how you think and feel. And it’s a power that you get to like the relentless practice of meditation and detachment from those things. But that’s something I would do, but I don’t know if you have any other suggestions.

Carey

Yeah, I love that. I wish I could tell you that I was better at meditating, but I am good at giving myself quiet time first Thing. 

It’s been one of the most powerful things I started in the morning. Doing. Even before my husband passed, it became a ritual for me after both losses. So, the first thing for me in the morning is quiet time. I read journal pray. Ask God, do you know what you want me to do today? Get lined up with God’s will and a divine power beyond me. 

So, no matter how I feel when I wake up, it helps me elevate above all that because you’re right. Most of the thoughts we’re having, if not all of them, are mostly not our voice. It’s just all negative narratives that have been passed down. 

So we’ve got to learn how to quiet that voice. We need to get attached to knowing that everything’s OK, that we’re on the right path, that we’re being taken care of, and that it’s all going to work out.

Cosmo

No, for sure; from your perspective, throughout your life, through your successes and failures, what is the biggest lesson you learned regarding business, relationships, and mindset in general?

Carey

You know what, I just turned 62, Cosmos, and it’s probably been within the last year that I’ve learned the biggest lesson of all. And that biggest lesson is to act on it if I feel it and it feels right. Because I know where that message is coming from. And it’s meant for me and my purpose. It’s hard for people to do that because the immediate thing we think about, especially when we have a really big dream like mine with vision, is Victory Academy and where I see that going for young adults and the impact that I want to make with that is that there is so much negative narrative that can beat you down. And I have just learned that I need to trust what I feel is right and go for it. 

Even if something happens and it doesn’t work out the way you thought, it is not a failure. It’s just OK that it didn’t work. What’s next? I think that’s a big lesson, especially for younger adults, to know that you just have to go and figure it out. Don’t worry so much about failing. Right. It’s just life.

Cosmo

Yeah. One of the things that a lot of people like to go through, right, is that they have a vision, but they don’t believe that they can go through with it. And you know that entrepreneurship business gives you the money and resources to go through with your ultimate vision. So, from your perspective, how should somebody go about, say, somebody has that vision, but they don’t have that? 

How would you advise them to overcome limiting self-beliefs regarding becoming financially free to accomplish what they want?

Carey

Well, two things. 

Again, you have to go back to retraining the brain, getting rid of all those negative thoughts, and turning them into positive affirmations, right? Because we got to get rid of all of that. 

The second thing is that you. You have to have a coach. You have to have somebody holding you accountable to the vision and your dream, especially by the second business I told you I launched when we became empty nesters, which was into the speaking and coaching world, right? 

And I knew nothing about that world, so I had to hire a coach, a woman who was doing it very successfully, to teach me what I didn’t know.

She taught me everything. You know how to set revenue targets, get in front of people, speak, craft my speech, and offer people my offers, right? So often, entrepreneurs won’t invest in the right coach initially because they’re afraid of spending the money. And that’s the worst thing you can do when you have the right coach. That is successful in the area where you want to go. They will help you avoid all of the big time and money losses while trying to figure it out independently, so get help.

Cosmo

Yeah. One of the things I learned while I had my business coach is that they said that mentorship from my community is the two important factors for success in entrepreneurship and business because many entrepreneurs do it alone. They don’t know the know-how. So, the combination of community and mentorship reduces the timeline. It takes to become successful like it’s kind. It’s like a time hack. You know, what would have taken five years? You can do it in one to two years if somebody, if the right mentor, just guides you. 

The environment you create around yourself charges that, and I’ll advise whoever is listening to this to consider it.

Carey

Yeah, community is everything. I attribute it to one of the biggest reasons I succeeded in both businesses. One, when I stepped into launching my first business. So, my kids were babies. I stepped into a ready-built community of people who taught me everything and held my hand through all the days I wanted to quit. You know, I had that. When I started my speaking and coaching business, I hired my coach. And went into her community because I knew I was. I’m going to need that. So many people are trying to figure things out on their own. Own, and that is—the hard, slow, painful way to go.

Cosmo

Yeah, it takes a lot of time, and it’s all about understanding, like getting the right education from the right mentor but caring. One of the things I want to ask when it comes to like America and like the nation, right on a National level, is that the young generation, the millennials, and Gen. Z are showing these competing visions for America with the polarity that is going on right now. Many of them, a lot of the people in my generation, are lost to the vision and purpose of America that was there with the founding fire has created versus what it is right now. 

So, from your perspective, how would you advise somebody proud of their nation? Still, they don’t understand what their vision is exactly on a national level.

Carey

You know, it’s an interesting time for you guys, right? I have a 22-year-old who told me when I asked him how he felt about starting his life at the age of his adult life, right? He said to me, I feel like I’m starting my life in a hostile environment. And I thought that was such an interesting comment, and I think a lot of it has to do with what you guys have witnessed over the past five years or so. 

Here’s the thing. And I say this to all generations now, more than ever: our one responsibility is to be the strongest leaders we can be. Right. It’s one thing to look to our leadership in the government and outside of ourselves and start blaming and shaming and saying it’s all their fault, right?

Cosmo

Which is happening right now, you know.

Carey

Right, it’s happening everywhere, and that’s probably the bigger problem, which is that nobody’s taking ownership of what you can do. You can now decide what kind of leader you want to be to effect change. You want to see it. Right. 

And I’m now saying that it’s not only to the young adults I’m starting work with, but I’m saying it to their parents. Because it’s their parents, Cosmos is coming to me saying, Please help me fix them. And I’m telling them the best thing you can do for them is be an example of a great leader. It would be best if you had it. Right. 

So, take ownership of what you want to be responsible for. Get educated on what’s happening and see how you can be a better leader for yourself, your families, and your country. And make the impact and the change that you want to see.

Cosmo

Hey, you’re so right because we have to create the ripple effect ourselves, but we can only do that when we start changing ourselves, as we always want to change the community around us. We want to change the nation. We want to change with a great cause, but ultimately, it’s ourselves that we need to change, and then we create a ripple effect by creating an example. It’s, but it’s not. It’s some people who want to. Hear that? 

But it’s really hard to change. Like self-introspection and getting self-awareness are some of the hardest things for many people. Whenever I introspect, somebody like me must understand my limitations and see things I would not want to see. But ultimately, that’s what it will take to change and become a better person. Like. Is.

Carey

And you are right, it’s the hardest thing, which is why you must. Have a coach. With permission, if you have the right coach who believes in you, sees your greatness, and wants to see you succeed. With permission, they can lovingly help you see those blind spots, Cosmos, and help you work through them. I’ve had many people gravitate toward that kind of coach. I don’t want them to sugarcoat things for me. I need them to show me what I’m not seeing so that I can become aware of it and change it. 

Yeah, it’s hard, especially when I tell the parents they need to change because they’re like what I’m like. You’re who you’re you are, who they’re looking up to right now. So if you want them to have a beautiful, healthy, successful life, they’re looking to you and saying, OK, well, what are you doing? Why aren’t you following your dream and your vision?

Cosmo

No, for sure. Carry: Is it as a continuation of this conversation we’re having, you know, like there because of the polarity that’s happening in the country right now, a lot of people, especially my generation, are going to depression and anxiety?

And they’re pessimistic about America’s future. So, from your perspective, do you think we as a nation are the younger?

As a nation, should the younger generation be optimistic about the future? What are our thoughts about that?

Carey

No. I am always optimistic about the future, so there’s that. And you know, here’s The thing: every generation has had challenges and hardships. Cosmos, if you look back over the past 100 years, there have been many adversities and challenges in our country and nationwide. Right. Every generation has had to work through that, and they work through it by believing things will get better and that they can impact the change. 

So, I want to encourage your generation to stop thinking you’re having it worse than anybody else. You must figure out what it is, what stand you will take, and how to work through it. And see that you can make an impact. You can impact change, right? 

So, we should not single that out so much right now and start to see it in a bigger picture historically. There’s always going to be something we’ll get through this, and there’ll be something else.

Cosmo

Yeah, but we often get so focused on the present moment that we feel it’s the only moment that ultimately matters. But yeah, you’re right about that. On the macro level, in the grand scheme of things, it’s just one out of many.

Carey

Right. The other thing we haven’t touched on is faith. I have a lot of faith that God’s in charge, my friend, and you know, it’s just going to be what it will be. I’m optimistic that we’re in good hands. Like you said, we just have to see beyond the present moment.

Cosmo

No, carry. So, carry on another note. I wanted to ask you about your book. I know you’re the author of. Keep looking up. Could you tell me in the audience a little bit more about that and the premise? What made you write this book?

Carey

This is the book that my daughter and I co-authored together. We wrote it a year after my son passed, and the book’s purpose was not for us to tell our story. Much. But we had so many people that were coming to us Cosmos saying, you know, how can I help you? Or. They would come to us saying I had a friend who lost somebody, and I don’t know how to help them. What do I do? 

So, as I said, it’s a book of 11 chapters about what helped us the most, the lessons we learned in our journey after our losses. Hopefully, those lessons can help other people going through their universities.

Cosmo

OK, that is awesome. I recommend that people watching this book check it because we all go through adversities at different times and need to. Know how to Overcome it, and Carey, you also do this podcast called the Mental Health Breakthroughs for young adults and their families. Could you tell me the audience a little bit more about that? What is the discussion in the podcast usually about?

Carey

Yeah, it’s interesting how this has evolved. The podcast has been around for a year and a half, and we just changed the name. Originally, it was called Moving Through and Beyond. And I was bringing on people who were very successful at what they do. 

But they have been through major adversity and were willing to come on and tell their story. Of what they went through, how it affected them, and what helped them get through it to offer encouragement, right? But as time passed, the more I talked about how focused I was on helping young adults, the more it became apparent that I needed to hone in on that generation and work with them. And so that’s why we changed the name. And I will continue to bring on people I’m interviewing, but I’m also bringing on some young adults. I brought on two so far that we’re willing to come on and share. You know what their thoughts were, what they were going through, and their struggles. I gave them some coaching and advice on the podcast, so I’m mixing it up with a little coaching and interviewing.

Cosmo

That is amazing. How can our audience connect with you and learn more about you, your work, and everything you do?

Carey

My website has everything, so you can just go to Careyconley.com. You can sign up for my free weekly newsletter and see information about the podcast, the Academy, and more.

Cosmo

Awesome, Carey. I’m so grateful that you took the time to come here and talk to us more about vision and overcoming hardships because this is something that we need in our life because of our Vision. We’re never. Going to get anywhere, you know, it’s like that compass that allows the ship to go in a certain direction, and we have to have that. Not to achieve anything, and I hope you take the time to return to the show later because I enjoyed having you.

Carey

I would love to.

Cosmo

Yeah, and I want to conclude this episode by letting my fellow extraordinary Americans know that, hey, look, there’s an extraordinary within every one of us. We must awaken it and unleash it until next time. Bye for now.

Carey

Thank you.