Welcome back to the show. My fellow extraordinary Americans, for today’s guest we have Sue Ryan. Sue is the founder of Sue Ryan Solutions, and as a speaker, coach, author, and educator, she guides people to become their greatest by leading themselves and others.

She also guides business leaders to excellence and businesses to retain and leverage their valuable family caregiving employees so they can thrive together for more than 30 years. Her professional career was in enterprise application software. In sales, she worked with clients ranging from entrepreneurs to Fortune 100 C-Suite leaders in more than 700 organizations and many industries to successfully navigate significant change. 

Their organizations recognized hundreds of millions in revenue gains and operational efficiency improvements. Sales and operations teams consistently Deliver results-driven and record-breaking performances; she has worked with clients such as the International Monetary Fund, Tribune Media, Marriott Hotels, the World Bank, and John Deere. She’s an extraordinary American, and I’m honored to have her on board. This show. Sue, are you there?

I am.

Sue, thank you so much for taking the time to do this podcast with me. I’m grateful. So, can you tell the audience more about yourself, your background, and how you got started?

Sure, my original background. Thank you so much for inviting me. I appreciate the opportunity to share with others because where I am now in the season of my life, there are opportunities to help others. My professional background includes many years of experience in enterprise application software. I started out designing it, and I ultimately ended up selling it. So, my lens for supporting businesses is to help their operations run. 

And so I understand very well how the business operates because I was in sales. One of the gifts I learned that has helped me in all areas of my life is tying together what people are challenged with and what they’re trying to achieve so that everybody in the organization is aligned. So, that kind of my professional background parallels my professional career. I also served as a family caregiver support. It kept being brought into my life. It’s not a job you apply for as a family caregiver but multiple journeys with family and loved ones. 

And often, it was. Nobody knew that I was doing that. I couldn’t bring that into the workplace, so all the work and family caregiving went on. So now I’m in the space where I can share about that and use the things that I’ve learned over the years, both on the business side, to help businesses understand how to support family caregivers and help their business profitability and employee satisfaction and retention as well—helping family caregivers navigate their journey.

So, I’m in a place where I have the opportunity to give back, where there are so many people who’ve leaned in to support me over the years.

Sue, this is pretty interesting because many successful businesspeople have difficulty balancing their professional and career goals with family, which requires certain character traits. But before I go deeper into this, I wanted to ask: What was your overall strategic vision over these decades? What got you to do a combination of business and family caregiver?

Sure. It was never a part of my strategy in my early years to bring both of those together. Over time, as I kept growing in my professional career and family caregiving roles, including those of my dad, grandmother, husband, and other loved ones, they were just those caregiving roles coming into my life in parallel with my professional life, I recognize that when something keeps coming into your life, it’s there to do something with. I kept gaining experience, and I wanted to be able to help other people’s journeys be faster and easier than mine.

But in parallel, On the professional side, I was passionate about simplifying how businesses would operate and putting in solutions that aligned with what they were doing. As that came into play, one of the impacts of their business was profitability, performance, and satisfaction. Being the quietest of them, not knowing about how many caregivers there are in their business, as well as some other demographics like wounded veterans and those with special needs, and raising their level of awareness. What my purpose and strategic vision were, so it’s probably in the last six years where there’s been more strategy in my vision to bring those together to help the world.

So, Sue, this is the continuation of this. What motivating factor drove you to family caregiving in addition to your professional life? Why did that make you do what you’re doing, allowing you to balance these two worlds?

Sure. So technically, the reason for my family caregiving is that I didn’t choose it. It kept coming to me. I had loved ones who needed a family caregiver, and it was me to be their caregiver. And when that kept coming to me as I was learning because my early journeys were brutal, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I was frustrated and, overwhelmed, and sometimes Scared. 

And yet I kept learning, and I recognized that many people were in their early roles. They were in the same place as I was. They didn’t know what they didn’t know. And the more I was in the caregiving role, the more I felt called to help others on their journey to make it easier. I learned how to navigate both of those roles in parallel. 

And so, it became something where I said I would continue to go ahead, and whatever those roles are, I would navigate them. Now, they can be used more as a platform to show people that they too can do this, but they can also be given the resources to know how.

Sue, during your family caregiving and professional life, what is the biggest lesson you learned about people, business, taking care of families, and all of that?

The number one lesson I would learn is nothing about leadership and nothing about caregiving. It is about health care. The number one thing I learned is that it is so easy for us to shave off parts of ourselves to care for others, whether in our professional or personal lives, and nobody else can care for us. And the more demands we have on ourselves and the level of performance. We want to be able to have that, whether that’s professionally or whether it’s supporting our loved one. We can’t be at our best if we do not care for ourselves. 

And so, I learned the hard way because, of course, I kept shaving off and shaving off things, and one day, I woke up, and it was like, wow. I haven’t cared for myself. Once I learned that caring for myself because nobody else can is the highest of the priorities and focused on that so that I could be my very best, whether I was in the role of caregiving or a professional role or any other life, it allowed me to put things in context and perspective, and it opened the door for me to ask permission from asking other people for help to permitting myself to ask others for help. 

And not have to journey alone for so many years when I felt I needed to or when there wasn’t another option. I want people to know that that’s not what it is, and I learned that.

So, I would say learning self-care and then being able to bring that into the other roles of our lives. We should prioritize it to encourage other people to reach out for help and support us. It helps everyone.

Sue likes self-care, which involves a lot of things, right? There’s the physical component; we have to take care of our health, but many people experience emotional and mental stress, trauma, and so on. And sometimes, it’s a spiritual thing, where they have an inner voice. 

So, from your perspective, does caregiving holistically involve all these factors? How does it come about? How does it affect their business life from their perspective?

That is such an excellent question. Thank you for asking that. Self-care is kind of like a label. It could be any number of things to different people, and for some people, self-care involves There’s a tremendous amount of self-reflection, and they’ll be taking a spiritual path that they perhaps hadn’t explored, or they’ll step back into something they had stepped away from because they had so much else. Going on, and they said, well, I’m just going to shave that off.

So, the spiritual component can be very valuable for some people; part of it is your physical health. Is it that no one can care for you or yourself? 

And so, it’s focusing on your health. It’s focused on getting sleep. It focuses on going to the doctor when you’re a family caregiver. It can be not easy to get your care receiver to the doctor, and you’re like, Well, it’s so much work. I won’t even bother to take them myself, or I’d have to ask somebody else to watch them. And I don’t want to bother someone else. 

So, we don’t care for ourselves. And so then, how can you be your best as a leader? When you’re exhausted, not nourishing your body or your mental health is impacted because you’re so stressed, and so it’s looking at and the way that I would say I would prioritize it. If I were someone trying to figure it out, it’d become reflective. Where in your life do you see the things that Are stressing you? Where are you struggling the most? Where are you giving yourself more than you can access and becoming aware of during the day? How are you feeding and nourishing yourself? When are you resting? How are you focusing on yourself, and where are you not getting care? That would be valuable and important. Under normal circumstances, you would reach out to; And how do you prioritize that?

No, I agree that self-care is important. It’s a good, comprehensive understanding of so many different factors. But from your perspective, what do you think is the biggest challenge people face when it comes to taking care of themselves while handling their professional and career lives and their business?

Sure. And again, another great question. One of the things that’s a real challenge is that many people, including me—and I’ve talked to many people about this—feel guilty caring for themselves when there are so many others to care for. When they’re leaders, they have their teams to care for when they’re A-Team members and the other team members to care for when they’re family members. They have other family members. 

Yet, when they’re caregivers, they also have their care receivers, so they take on the responsibility of caring for many other people. They know they can control getting a few minutes here and there by not caring for themselves. 

So, they deprioritize themselves or feel guilty about caring for themselves when they have so many others to care for. And what happens is that you do a little bit of that at a time, and then you’re like, oh, I shaved off 5 minutes here, but I could shave off five more.

So, you quit thinking consciously, recognize that you’re doing that, and keep shaving it off. Other people are not looking at you, but you are going now. Did you make sure you ate breakfast this morning? So, it’s not something where other people are necessarily observing it; where they observe it is when you’re a leader, and there’s a meeting, and something happens, and you respond in a way that you normally wouldn’t or when you are exhausted. You can’t think as clearly when your loved one does something, and you snap at them instead of being compassionate and empathetic.

So, there are signs that all those issues could be coming up. It’s aware of them and in the right space to recognize them. Taking care of yourself is not something to feel guilty about. It’s something to show that self-love is not selfish. It’s self-love. I mean, self-care is not selfish. It’s self-love.

When you talk about self-love, I think of the word empathy, right? Empathy is like taking care of yourself, but you also care for the other people around you. And then you understand other people’s pain. But from your perspective, how do you view empathy and its application to business in general?

Yes. And the way that I define empathy is that I feel what you’re feeling; I put it like I’m associated. I’m in your pain, or I’m in your joy. I’m with what you’re going through. And from that space, there’s that deep space of empathy, especially on the leadership side when we’re in business. It’s either I want to be there, or I choose to be there, to walk alongside you. Let’s work through this together. Let’s be there together when you’re having a challenge. I can find ways to support you or get other resources to support you so we have the outcome. That’s what we’re working toward. As opposed to just saying, we’ll figure it out. Come back when you figure it out from the caregiving side. 

It’s getting inside. How are they seeing the world? What are they going through? How do I help them have as high a quality of life as possible where they are? What does that look like? Not from a list of things I put together that might be something for them to do. But really, being observant and walking with them—when I say walking, it’s just being in their space throughout the day through what they’re experiencing. I also learned a lot about leadership from being an empathetic caregiver because when we are in a leadership position, we are empathetic with those we lead. 

And we’re not just separated from them; we understand. What are they going through in their day-in and day-out lives? Lives. How are they working together as a team? What are the things that they’re most challenged by? How can we organizationally put them in the best position? Position so that we’re putting the organization in the best position and being empathetic. 

And it’s also being organizationally empathetic. It’s that the organization is here for a purpose, and the organization is here to be profitable and to thrive. How can we be empathetic with the organization so that we’re preparing all the people there? Supporting it to be in its best position so we achieve and exceed our goal organizationally.

So, Sue, this is a very interesting conversation because, you know, there’s a perception of, let’s say, corporate America and a lot of businesses where if you’re making profits, it’s at the expense of the employees and the people. 

And many people perceive business leadership as cutthroat, where you can only make all these profits. By making the employees work pretty hard, the idea of Amazon comes to mind, where there’s the idea of Amazon and doing the work is like that. But your idea of business leadership and empathy is a stark contrast. 

So, in your opinion, what are they like? How do you perceive the two leadership styles, and what makes this leadership style that you’re talking about better than the other?

It’s a really difficult question to give a short answer to because so much of what an organization is based on the culture, and the culture comes from the leadership, consistency, and what they’re modeling and practicing throughout the organization. 

What I would say when I focus on the concept of empathy is that it’s not a separation in an organization from the leadership to what’s executed in the individual departments; it understands that it’s making sure that whatever the leadership decisions are, and I respect the fact that there are challenges day in and day out, there are huge challenges in any business, and on the surface, when somebody’s looking at it, they may think, Well, that was a terrible choice, or they’re sacrificing people, or they’re doing. We don’t have the opportunity to know about so many things that go on underneath. Some good, some bad. We don’t know what those always are. 

And yet, if culturally, an organization supports having the best environment possible to help their team thrive. Then, whatever the decisions are, the team will understand them better. There have been organizations that have set themselves up very well when they had to make a very hard choice. 

The team members understood it. The outside world doesn’t always understand it. The team members understood it, and you’ve got the extra layer when you have a publicly traded company. If you’ve got the shareholders and they have a different lens into it, Then there’s a very challenging issue. It’s not an ebb and flow, but it’s a very challenging decision point for organizations to make to try to support what the needs are for everyone and then also be able to message it in a way that everybody embraces it and that I don’t think can ever really happen. I don’t think everybody associated with every aspect of a business is happy with it. Decisions. Organizationally, they set a pattern, though. They consistently focus on the most important things they can to achieve their goal. Then, they have a good reason for what they’re doing. Then, when they make those hard choices, people understand what they are, but they may not agree with them. But they can understand them better.

I’m bringing this up because there’s a great perception in America right now that many companies don’t have empathy for their employees; they’re living paycheck to paycheck, and employees can be hired and fired just on a whim. You know, there was a sense of security back in the day. Whereas a person would be part of the company for several years and then could retire and they would be financially secure. But we live in a world that’s not the case, and the need for empathy is even more pressing, so I think it’s important.

It is what it is, and I agree with you. And when we look at what the shift was, you know, back in the day when there were pensions, and people would go to work from, for example, my dad worked for the same company from the day he graduated from college until he retired, and there were a lot of people who did that. It was on both sides, though organizations looked at it financially. That model was not sustainable as businesses went forward, and you also had employees. They used to feel like I was coming to the company. I will stick with them through thick and thin and retire from that company. 

Then, they shifted so that the employee loyalty model shifted. And then, with technology, the need for someone to be sustained in the same roles that they have is moving through the organization. It wasn’t as necessary, and many different businesses and industries were moving forward. 

So, there are a lot of factors that have gone into shifting it. And then, when we had the pandemic, people realized that technology now supported them, not necessarily being in an in-person environment all the time. And people didn’t have the long commutes and some other things, and they could once they figured out how to deal with family and children running around. And it was OK that they were behind the zoom. I mean that they’re like, well, I don’t. I don’t see a need to go back to another method.

We have tipping points throughout the time that shift on either side. There’s a catch-up on all sides when you get to the lens of empathy, though. When both sides look through empathy at what’s happening, they can figure out how to make it work together.

Many things have changed in the last 40 to 50 years, like the 1950s and 1960s model, where one could go from college to retirement, just like your father did. 

And then, today’s world is vastly different without security. Now, people have to adapt accordingly. But there’s this transition point where people don’t realize that the old ways, like people, are still saving for their security or Social Security. But it’s due to inflation. A lot of that is taken away. 

So basically, we’re living in a completely different world now.

We are one of the things that was challenged, and there’s a segment of the generations that they did. They planned for their Social Security to be their retirement. And when they did that, they were using the very best information. And that’s the way it was. And yet, that has shifted over time. So, that is no longer the model. 

And now people are not looking at Social Security as something like that. It will be the end, all be all, and what their retirement will be. They’re not sure it will be sustainable over an extended period. 

So that’s shifting the perspective, people. Many people stayed in a company because they would get a pension or something that would reward them for staying. Now that that’s not there, people ask where I will get the most money. From what you know, am I going to do the gig economy and just get a variety of different jobs, or am I going to go to an organization and, as soon as I find another organization, go to that organization because I can get some more money?

The loyalty part isn’t there when loyalty is absent as a component; empathy is even more important so that you can work with each other through challenging times instead of just leaving.

No, totally. I couldn’t agree more. 

And so, Sue, if you had to advise somebody on starting their own business and then on the foundations of that business and the culture on which the business leadership should be based, how would you advise such a person? If she is starting, they are starting the company from scratch.

If they’re starting the company from scratch, make sure they’re doing it based on something that they’re completely aligned with; it’s something that either fills their heart or breaks their heart, or it’s a combination of both, and it’s something where they’re also in a position that as they get started, They have a team around them of advisors, mentors, and supporters, so that when they come up against something that they didn’t, No, they’ve got someone to help them through those rough patches so that they can continue to move forward. 

One of the things we see is that so many people will start a business, and within the first few years, they’re out of business because something comes along that doesn’t fit in with their model. And they don’t know how to shift what they’re doing. They don’t know how to take a step back. They don’t know how to push through or not. And with the uncertainties in our current economic situation, some people are less risk-tolerant. 

So, you want to understand your personality type and how risk-tolerant you are if you start a new business. Is this something you believe in You? Even if the outcome is not what you anticipated initially, I have the alignment and the personality traits to support you moving forward. And if you don’t feel you have that, look at a different way of starting up the business or another way of participating with someone else in a business.

No, that is great insight, Sue. 

Eventually, we must understand the foundations and culture of our business. It’s kind of like a building, right? You have to have the foundational structures put in place, and they’ve got to be based on a solid foundation. Ideally, the culture should be based on something like this: We treat each other with respect and empathy, which leads to a more sustainable model in the long term, in my opinion.

Yeah. And you’re exactly right. And your culture, your mission, and your vision. And those are the things that sustain you. And it’s also the people who are around you. One of the things now that it’s so easy to start a business is that there are people who are quick to start a business but haven’t thought down the path of what that means. And not everything is going to be an overnight success now. That part hasn’t changed for centuries and centuries. However, one of the significant challenges, especially with the uncertainty in our economy, is how you naturally deal with stress. How do you naturally manage risk? 

You want to understand that part of yourself and position yourself with others as you create a business so that when those stress points come to you, you understand what to do and how to engage others with them. You want to be able to make responsible choices instead of just freezing up.

So, Sue, from your background, you advise business leaders on family caregiving; I wanted to ask you a question based on the national context. We know that our country is in polarity right now, right? There’s extreme polarization. 

So, from your perspective, with your understanding of empathy, how would you advise your fellow Americans on how to treat each other and like, and also regarding, like, going and starting their own business, and everything else? What if they had to follow your idea of family caregiving along with doing the professional life?

As well.

Again, that’s a pretty big question. And I’ll tackle a little bit of it from my perspective of how I live my life. I chose to live my life honoring who I am. I believe I was brought here for a purpose, and I want to do my best to live that purpose. I was brought here for. Every experience I have is for me to learn a lesson for someone else involved in that experience, to learn a lesson for both of us. Learn a lesson. 

And so, I want to make sure that I’m doing my best to represent who I am in the world and my purpose as best I can. And so, from that perspective, I choose to treat people as kindly as possible, as thoughtfully as possible, and as empathetically as possible. 

And if I choose what I’m involved with other people, from an empathetic perspective, whatever you’re going through, how can I be supportive of you? And yet, there are times when it’s appropriate to maintain boundaries while respecting other people, respecting what they’re going through, and understanding that their journey is taking them down the path that their life purpose is as well. 

And I feel like if I continue to watch my lane, do the very best I can, and continue to model Being kind, loving, empathetic, and helping others. That’s all I can control, so you know, a big part of what we’re going through now is that we can’t control anyone else. You put me in front of a good piece of Chocolate. I can’t even control myself.

 From my perspective, it’s modeling my doing my best to lead myself. So, I’m in the best position to allow others to make choices that will help them move in the right direction.

You couldn’t have explained it better. Yes, we cannot control other people, but we can control ourselves, and through our way of life, we can inspire others to do the same, which creates a ripple effect. We have to do our part. If many people do their part, it changes the entire national discourse.

And you’re right; it’s a ripple. I mean, it truly is. I mean, it’s that’s it’s; it’s such a perfect picture for that. So that if we keep doing it and it keeps rippling out and others do it, it keeps rippling out, and it keeps growing and growing and growing.

No, for sure, And Sue. If you have to advise Americans on attaining the American dream, you know that pursuing happiness is so important as part of the American identity. So, from your perspective, with your background and family caregiving and balancing that with your professional career life, how would you advise Americans on pursuing happiness and attaining their dream?

Hmm. I don’t see that as an external. I want to go out and do all of these other things. I see the pursuit of happiness as my self-exploration, except for my self-exploration, my understanding of myself, and my living in the way that I choose to. I am satisfied and happy with what I’m doing and choose to be happy every day I wake up. 

That’s not in the absence of other things in the world. I created something called Massive. Acceptance and radical presence put me in the best position to make the choice every day to be happy. What massive acceptance and radical presence are accepting is exactly what is 100%. We don’t have to like it, we don’t have to agree with it, and we don’t even have to understand it now. It’s accepting it without judgment. And if I accept it, OK, this is what it is. 

Then, I can stay fully present in the moment, which is all we have. When I’m fully present in the moment, I have access to making the wisest choice. And whether it’s a very challenging or beautiful moment, I’m not striving to achieve happiness. It’s coming through me.

Wow! This is so deep. I need to move into a process. It’s so radical acceptance and radical.

Massive acceptance and radical presence.

Wow. If people did that, that would be like the Jesus Christ version of peace on Earth. I mean, yeah, like, so, so, just to elaborate on this, how would you practically practice radical acceptance and presence in your life?

A big change that came to me in my caregiving journey is when I accept things exactly as they are. Then, I’m not trying to make it be the way it was, so I’m not trying to force it to be something that’s no longer there. I’m not fortune-telling. The future, and trying to make it something that I want it to be. I’m more into allowing. OK, where is it meant to come from? When I’m practicing massive acceptance and radical presence, what do I have control over in the moment? Many of the things that we struggle with in our lives are because we’re trying to control things or people we have no control over

So, if I focus on what I have control over, I put myself in the very best position. With what I control, I can be in a space of peace. I can be in a space of happiness, which can be a very challenging moment or experience. And yet, I’m not trying to have it be something else, so I’m missing what’s in the moment. 

So when are we like this? We maximize the potential of every single moment we have.

I mean, I want the audience to understand that radical acceptance and radical presence are the way.

Massive acceptance. Yeah, massive acceptance, radical presence.

Massive acceptance and radical presence—yeah, like that. It is difficult to do, but if you do it—I mean, it’s simple—once you start practicing it, it just heals many results. And you have to come from a calm state, without attachment, to attain that state.

And I quit trying to solve problems that weren’t mine to solve. And I quit trying to force an outcome that’s not meant and not mine to force. I focus more on the outcomes that I have responsibility for, and I can also see myself more clearly and give myself tremendous amounts of grace. I don’t feel like I should be all these other things. I recognize that I can bring someone in or do something else instead of going when I’m stressed. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this when I know that I’m. I can’t; I’m not qualified, and I exhaust myself and others, and it just simplifies. There are so many things in life. It’s not the absence of conflict. It’s not the absence of challenge; it’s also the inclusion of joy.

I mean, this is amazing. Sue and Sue, I wanted to ask you: can you tell me a little bit more about your Sue Ryan solutions and the premise of how you got this started?

Sure. My focus is helping people become their greatest leaders, leading themselves and others, and that surrounds everything I do, whether it is working with leaders who are emerging in an area or they’re emerging leaders, whether it is helping people intentionally navigate changes in theirs. Lives, or whether it’s a business focusing on employee retention and workforce management and having the best working environment they possibly can and not recognizing that there’s a segment of their employee base. Who can continue to add much more value if they are recognized? 

Finally, for the family caregiver, I’ve created programs. I created the Caregivers Journey program and walked family caregivers through the caregiving journey. From the beginning, as I call it, the caregiver’s first things that will happen either beforehand or when they begin to move forward after their caregiving, not necessarily their grieving journey has ended, and it helps people step through that entire journey. And again, it’s all through massive acceptance and radical presence. 

So, my lens is intertwined with all of that. It’s people finding ways to become their greatest leaders, leading themselves and others.

That is awesome, Sue. Is there any project you’re doing other than this that you would want the audience to glimpse?

Are there any other projects? I would love to come in and speak to organizations and the leadership team. I also love to work with family caregiving groups and do workshops. So, speaking, coaching, and educating are three areas I focused on. I’m a passionate communicator. So, bring me into your business to talk to your leadership team.

No, I would advise anybody in the audience to do that because I assume whatever you’re saying is applicable as if it’s just common sense to sue. How can our audience connect with you and learn more about you, your work, and everything you do?

The simplest way is through my website, Sue Ryan. Solutions. 

That is amazing. Sue, thank you for coming to this podcast and sharing your wisdom. It has been processing like your last part about massive acceptance and radical presence. Because. I realized that if this is how we as Americans practice being Americans in today’s climate, we can radically change all the anger, hate, and everything that is. He warned us that practicing a business culture based on empathy can create an economy that works for all. I am grateful you took the time to share this podcast with me, and I was hoping you could return to this show later.

I would love to, and I am grateful that you invested your time in me so that I could spend my time with you. You’re doing this for all of America, for the people you’re so passionate about. I respect you for living your passion and helping people step into theirs. So, thank you very much.

Thank you, Sue. I appreciate that as well. I want to conclude this episode by letting my fellow extraordinary Americans know that, hey, look, there’s an extraordinary within every one of us, and we must awaken it and unleash it until next time. Bye for now.

Bye for now.